BUILD A RELATIONSHIP ON FACEBOOK? UH, NO...
THE SYSTEM says that there is NOTHING GOOD that is going to come out of trying to build a relationship on social media. Case in point is below...
Before you get to the article, we have some audio extras for you:
Dating Women Podcast #146
146: A 1994 Rap Song Can Help You Not Be Discouraged In Dating
Dating Women Radio Show
Call us and listen every Wednesday at 5:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. ET
855-345-7465 (US Toll Free - lower 48)
646-668-8937 (Alaska, Hawaii, International)
I have an interesting situation on my hands. I met Adrienne at a Halloween party two years ago. I immediately started up a chat with her on Facebook and asked if we could add each other. Then I even asked her out.
(Note, if you want to explore the dangers of social media more JOIN THE DOC LOVE CLUB and look for the 1/31/18 article where we detail the pitfalls - IT'S A MUST READ and in addition to that article you get hundreds of hours of audio and hundreds of articles - THE DOC LOVE CLUB is a great bargain).
Well, she said she was seeing someone, and also that she didn’t want to add me on Facebook because the guy she was dating was getting jealous over the male friends she has on Facebook. So nothing whatsoever happened and I forgot about the whole thing.
I moved on and now, two years later, she wants to friend me on Facebook. I wrote back to her, “Hey, I thought you didn’t want to do this because you have a jealous boyfriend.” She responded with, “He’s still around. We work together but I deleted him as a friend on Facebook and as a boyfriend.” I then wrote back, “You work together? I bet that’s really awkward, LOL!”
Then I asked her if she’d like to get together sometime, and she said, “I work two jobs and my schedule is crazy. But I’m sure I’ll see you around in the future.” Of course I thought to myself, “Yeah, I won’t hold my breath.”
Doc, what would you say Adrienne’s Interest Level is? Do you have any suggestions for what I might do to get her out on a date?
Brutus - who’d like to have a shot at her
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER IN A SECOND BUT FIRST...
It was a huge mistake to use Facebook with Adrienne. To you Psych majors, you do NOT put any information about yourself on the internet. People are going to see it and make judgments about what you’re doing and they can easily misinterpret what you’re really trying to say. So that was a bad move, pal.
What you should have done instead was asked Adrienne for her phone number, then called her up and asked her out. But you went down a different road: you went for being friends on Facebook. And the danger with that is, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Once a friend, always a friend.” What you don’t want is to get stranded in the Friend Zone, and Facebook will do that to you.
FREE 7 DAY DATING COURSE - YES, FREE: SIGN UP NOW
And remember that when a girl asks you to be her boyfriend, you have to ask her in return, “Do you have any exes on your Facebook page?” If she says yes I do, you then say “Then let’s just leave it as it is.”
So now, after all this time, Adrienne wants to be your friend on Facebook. You know if you’ve read my book that you can’t go back. So let me get this straight: two years later, out of the blue, all of a sudden Adrienne realized how great you were? Now think about it. She wouldn’t date you two years ago and she wouldn’t even be your friend on Facebook! And now she’s popped up out of nowhere and wants to be your friend? This girl’s a whack-job, dude!
You shouldn’t have brought up her jealous boyfriend when Adrienne contacted you after two years. Now you’re arguing with her, Brutus. Another big mistake. What you should have said instead was, “Rather than be a friend, let’s go out on a date. Give me your number and I’ll call you and ask you out.” And why are you accusing Adrienne of being in an awkward situation with her ex? The rule is no negatives and no put-downs and that’s what you’re doing. And you shouldn’t be doing that because Adrienne is coming at you, asking you to be her friend on Facebook. Rather than arguing with her, you should be asking her out.
Think you have what it takes to succeed by just reading these articles? You don't - these articles give you an insight into how I think but you need my book so if you really want to be successful with women you need THE SYSTEM. Still not convinced? Read my "YOU CHANGED MY LIFE" letters.
But then she tells you that she can’t get together because she works too much. Preston, you never ask a girl if she wants to get together. You say “Give me your phone number.” Then you call her and ask her out for a date. The point here is that you don’t ask a girl about her feelings. One more huge mistake. I see you don’t have “The System.”
Then Adrienne tells you she’ll “see you around in the future.” Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “That’s called a beautiful brush-off.” But at least you’re not holding your breath, so you’re doing something right, Brutus!
What is Adrienne’s Interest Level? 10%. Suggestions to get her out on a date? Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You’d have to win the Powerball.”
Remember, guys: you can never go back.