Interview With DatingNews.com!
Before we get to the article for the week we are so excited to announce that the awesome site DatingNews.com took time to interview Doc for a feature piece - please check it out on the link below:
SENDING LOVEY DOVEY TEXT MESSAGES A FEW TIMES A DAY???
THE SYSTEM says that CHALLENGE IS THE KEY TO WOMEN so you can imagine that sending lovey dovey text messages a day is pretty ANTI-CHALLENGE. Uh, yeah, things didn't work out too well for our reader...
Read the article below but first we have some audio extras for you:
Dating Women Podcast #142
142: Most Dumb Questions In Dating Start With This Word
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I’ve never contacted a love coach, but I need some insight. I’ve gotten some other opinions on my situation, but they are all so different as to be confusing.
I’ve been dating Olivia for six months. We met on Tinder and took things VERY slow in the beginning. Neither of us really knew what we wanted – I think we chatted for two full months before even meeting! -- but we fell madly in love, or so I thought.
Around the five-month mark she told me, “I just don’t know, I’m not feeling it – it’s not passionate enough.” Now this was after a VERY passionate weekend. Anyway, a couple weeks passed and we got together to talk, and things got even hotter romantically. This past weekend we spent almost every moment together, even getting together with her family for dinner. Everything seemed great until I got this message: “I genuinely love you, I really do, but I need you to give me space, because you’re smothering me.” Now admittedly I was texting her a few times a day with lovely-dovey messages, but I thought she was enjoying that. Apparently I was wrong.
I am just baffled by how things could shift gears so quickly like this. We were even talking about buying a home together and possibly getting married.
I’m still in love with Olivia and want her back, but I have no choice but to back off now. Doc, I believe this thing is over though I don’t want it to be. My question is this: is there still a chance? And is it even worth it?
Stephen - who somehow messed up
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER IN A SECOND BUT FIRST...
Let me get this straight. You talked to Olivia for two full months before even meeting? All that time you were missing her body language, pal. When you talk on the phone or over the internet, IT’S MERELY TO SET UP A DATE and not spend all of your time talking. Then after setting up the date, you’re supposed to disappear. The point is that I want the girl to miss you from the time you set up the date to the time you pick her up. And the only way to do that is to have no communication in between those times. You’re butchering Challenge here, Stephen!
When Olivia said she wasn’t feeling it and that it wasn’t passionate enough, she was telling you that her Interest Level was only 55% and that it was heading south of 50%. So you’re on the way out, dude. And you don’t have a clue why or what to do because you don’t have my book. You mentioned that you went very slow in the beginning. My friend, you have to go slow during the whole relationship, not just the beginning!
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You might have had a passionate weekend with Olivia, but don’t get kissing a girl mixed up with her high Interest Level. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “She’ll be kissing you on the way out!” The problem is that things are getting “hotter” in your mind, but they’re getting colder in hers. That’s what you don’t understand.
But you went and met the family of a girl who doesn’t know if she likes you or not. Wow, Stephen. Don’t you think that’s kind of pushing it a little bit?
When Olivia warned you that you were smothering her, she was telling you that she likes a Challenge, she likes a guy she has to chase, and she likes not knowing where she stands. But you don’t get it because you have no idea what Challenge – i.e., going in slowly – even means.
Buddy, you don’t TEXT and you don’t do LOVEY-DOVEY -- especially when she’s not sure what her feelings are. The best thing that you said in your letter was that you were “apparently” wrong. The truth lies one step further in: you were dead wrong! And that’s why you’re dead out!
Think you have what it takes to succeed by just reading these articles? You don't - these articles give you an insight into how I think but you need my book so if you really want to be successful with women you need THE SYSTEM. Still not convinced? Read my "YOU CHANGED MY LIFE" letters.
Of course things can shift gears quickly. And that’s because you didn’t have the right approach, you didn’t have “The System,” and you didn’t know what you were doing, and now you’re out. You wasted six months and money, plus you met her parents for the first and last time!
Stephen, YOU were the one who brought up marriage and a house. That was your idea, not hers. She’s telling you that you’re going too fast and you’re talking about buying a home? What sense does that make?
You’re not just going to back off now -- you have to disappear. This girl is in the arms of another guy, my friend. You screwed up. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “You had the lead, but you blew the sale.” Your pitch was lousy and you don’t know how to close.
Is there still a chance? You should be asking yourself if there’s a chance for you to change instead. Why? Because you’re going to do the same thing with the next girl. Whatever turned Olivia off you’re going to do with the next babe and she’s going to get rid of you too. Guy, you don’t know how to approach and handle relationships. No offense, but you’re clueless.
It’s not worth it with Olivia, Stephen. You have to get “The System,” study, and use my techniques on the next girl and you’ll be okay.
Remember, guys: the key to women is going in slowly on a consistent basis.