HANDING HER PHONE NUMBER TO A CONTRACTOR ISN'T EVEN THE BIGGEST THING HERE...
THE SYSTEM says that you need to recognize everything she's doing. He wrote in freaked out about her handing her number out to a contractor but didn't realize that her not driving to see him is a big indicator of where her feelings are at...
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I don’t know where to start, so I’ll start at the beginning. I am 55 and have been dating Kim, 48, for the past two and a half years. She is a pretty Chinese woman and we are planning on moving in together next year. We have a long distance relationship (120 miles) but I drive to see her three times per week.
The issue is that when we first got together, I told her I did not want any exes in the picture and she assured me that she had no connections with any exes. Well, I discovered that she did in fact have connections with exes and lied to me about them. In fact, she swore up and down that one guy wasn’t an ex and that she couldn’t remember how she met him. I came to find out that she indeed met him on a dating site and dated him at least once. She clearly lied to me about this guy and another guy.
There are some other things that happened that are related to other men, but I can’t find a smoking gun that she is cheating or has cheated. However, some of her interactions with other men have been suggestive. Recently Kim told me that she was visiting an open house (we are looking to buy a house together) and met two contractors. They apparently exchanged phone numbers, which I thought was strange because she is not planning on having any work done on her present house.
When Kim is with me, she never talks to strangers, especially men. When she told me about giving these contractors her number, she started the conversation by saying that they were dirty, fat and ugly.
What do you think, Doc? Do you think I should get rid of Kim before I make a huge mistake? I’m just buying “The System,” by the way.
Jerrold - who needs your coaching
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER IN A SECOND BUT FIRST...
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First of all, you SHOULDN’T be moving in together with Kim. “The System” is pro-marriage, so you shouldn’t be cohabiting with this woman. To you Psych majors, if the relationship is going forward, you should marry the woman. And by the way, when you are buying a house with a woman, you should be married to her, not just living with her. Why? The divorce rate for people who live together before marriage is actually higher than those who didn’t.
WHAT??? YOU didn't sign up for my free 7-day dating course yet? Did you not understand the word FREE?
You say that you have a long-distance relationship with Kim and that you drive 120 miles to see her three times per week. Hey -- why isn’t she driving to see you one and a half times per week? Why are you the one doing all the driving, Jerrold? What is this woman’s Interest Level in you? This concept is something you don’t understand because you haven’t read my book yet.
Now, if Kim had connections with exes and lied to you about them, she’s OUT. Right here she’s gone, and you certainly can’t buy a house with her. In my book there is a chapter called INTEGRITY. INTEGRITY is made up of HONESTY, LOYALTY and TRUST. When a woman lies to you, she violates all of those qualities, and she has to be OUT. Then you busted Kim with the guy she met on a dating site. Nice! Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t cheat – she’s just a liar.”
Then she met these two contractors. You have to give Kim the benefit of the doubt here, my friend. Maybe she just got into a conversation with these guys and they told her that if she ever wanted some work done in the future to take their cards and contact them. Since you didn’t hear the entire conversation between them, you can’t jump to any conclusions. So that’s not a big deal, Jerrold. Plus she said that they were dirty, fat and ugly. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “So much for the construction industry!”
These articles give you a lot but there are key elements that you're missing if you don't have my book so if you really want to be successful with women you need THE SYSTEM. Still not convinced? Read my "YOU CHANGED MY LIFE" letters.
Yes, buddy, you should get rid of Kim before you make a huge mistake like moving in or getting a house together. And after you read “The System,” you’ll realize exactly why you have to get rid of her. Anytime a woman asks you to be her boyfriend – and this is covered in my book – you have to ask her if she talks to any of her exes, which you did. So you did the right thing there, Jerrold. The problem is that she LIED to you about her exes. “The System” says that you don’t fall in love with a liar. Case closed.
Remember, guys: if she can’t tell the truth, she’s no good.