WHEN THEY'RE INVITING YOU TO SOMETHING GOOD - TAKE IT!
You always - ALWAYS forget about CHALLENGE when you're getting INCOMING from a lady - find out why our student was in error.
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Dating Women Podcast #111
111: Is The Age Difference Too Great For Him To Date Her?
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I’m dating two women from an online dating service. One of them, Kris, invited me to her house for dinner, which would be our second meeting. However, I think it’s better to just thank her for the invitation, not agree to go, and try to meet in a public place instead. The first time we met was at Starbucks, where we had a very lively conversation and I learned many things about her. What do you think I should do? Am I right in not wanting to go to her place so quickly? I guess I’m not exactly sure how to proceed in this situation.
The second woman is Lianne. When we met for our Starbucks date she told me that I needed to relax, but she wasn’t as talkative as I expected her to be. This threw me off balance. I’m not a naturally talkative person either, so I tried to fill the silence with interesting, positive or funny topics. I didn’t talk about myself unless she asked questions. We did a lot of smiling at each other, which was rather awkward. In general I did my best to make Lianne feel comfortable under the circumstances, and brought up no negative topics. Afterwards she thanked me via text message for walking her back to her car. When she asked me if we’ll meet again, I said “We’ll see.” She then said “You have no heart,” a comment that I turned into something funny in my answer.
Doc, what can I do if a woman is not that into talking? Should I interpret that as low Interest Level, or shyness and introversion? In general I know that I have a lot of work to do, but I’m sticking with your book for guidance.
Rusty - who is still just a beginner
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
First of all, let me commend you for getting “The System,” abiding by it and learning from it! You are going to find that it will change your life in many ways that you won’t even anticipate – and all for the better!
Now, whenever a woman asks you to her house for dinner, YOU MUST ACCEPT THE INVITATION. Whenever an offer is incoming – ANYTIME A WOMAN ASKS YOU TO DO ANYTHING WITH HER – you must do it, at least in the early stages. What happened with Kris demonstrates that she has HIGH INTEREST LEVEL in you. Also, you’ve come to discover that she’s a GIVER. She’s not a woman with low Interest Level who just is a TAKER. By her actions Kris has shown you that she is phenomenal. So like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “If you turn her down, it’s almost an insult.” Again, when interest is oncoming, you must accept it – that’s the rule.
Why didn't you sign up for my free 7-day dating course yet? Did you not understand the word FREE?
Now, as far as Lianne is concerned, it’s quite curious that she felt it necessary to criticize you for your demeanor. So right here you have a minor RED FLAG to consider. Usually if a woman tells you to relax, it means you’re talking too much or too fast. But you weren’t even talking! So why do you have to relax? Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “Were you bouncing around in the chair, boy?” Did your body language betray that you were a nervous wreck?
When you told Lianne “We’ll see” when she asked if you two were going to get together again, that was a lousy answer, my friend. You should have said something positive to her instead. After all, Lianne was asking you out for a second date. She has positive Interest Level in you. What you should have said was something like “Why wouldn’t I?” When she accused you of having no heart, she verified my analysis of the situation. I hope she delivered those words with a big smile on her face!
To you Psych majors, if a woman is not that into talking, you can ignite the conversation by asking her where she was raised. If she tells you that she was raised in Minnesota on a farm, ask her how many acres it had. Then ask her if she had cows. Ask her if she worked with her father on the farm. Did she pick up the eggs that the chickens laid? You can get in a whole half hour about her life on the farm. Whenever she answers one of your questions, ask her another question about it. In other words, keep the conversation extending naturally if at all possible. In time you’ll master the art of keeping any woman talking.
Rusty, you simply don’t know yet what Lianne’s reluctance to talk might mean. Since it was only your first get-together, you can’t possibly know. But with time and trying to lead her into talking about herself, you will figure out whether it’s a lack of interest, or shyness, or introversion -- and which one of them really counts.
Remember, guys: forget Challenge -- never turn down an invitation from a woman, PERIOD.