WHAT'S THE 411 ON THIS ARTICLE?
He thinks she's cheating on him but it's not his biggest problem - not by a long shot. Find out why below.
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I’ve been dating Pamela for a few years now. We even have a child together (we live separately but co-parent) but Pamela confuses the hell out of me. One minute she is madly in love with me and all sentimental and gushy, but the next she resents me, and us -- meaning me and the baby -- and seems bitterly unhappy with me.
I’ve asked Pamela many times if she still feels the same way about me as she did at the beginning and she says that she does and that nothing is wrong. But at times I feel like she must be seeing someone behind my back and I start to get really angry and we fight. Whenever I accuse Pamela of cheating on me she gets very hostile and sometimes gives me the silent treatment, and it can last for quite a while.
Here’s the thing, Doc. I found that Pamela secretly met up at least once with one of her exes since she’s been with me. Since then I can’t trust her, and I feel like they’re still secretly meeting up. She swears that she isn’t, but my gut tells me otherwise.
I often find myself wanting to leave Pamela for good, but we always end up getting back together again somehow. We’ve gotten to the point where Pamela wants to take a lie detector test to prove her innocence. I would just like her to be truthful with me if she’s seeing someone else, whether it’s her ex or another guy, but she won’t budge on the issue and tell me the truth.
I’ve tried several different ways to try to solve our various issues as well but nothing has worked. I feel that Pamela is fickle, but she calls me the same thing. She always demands many things from me, which
I try my best to meet. How can I solve my dilemmas with this woman?
HELP! I’m considering just cheating on Pamela or leaving her for good. The big problem I have is that I feel attached to her.
Bruce - who wants to lash out
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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
Wait a minute. You’re telling me that you and Pamela have a baby together and you’re not married? What kind of home is this child going to grow up in? In addition, you and Pamela don’t even live together, which means you can’t both love or raise this child at the same time. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Once you have a kid, the party is over.” Everything now should be about that child, not you and Pamela.
This woman confuses you because you don’t have “The System.” When you got into this relationship, you never used my book as a guide. If you had, you would have dropped Pamela before you had the child, or you would have gotten married and raised the child in a normal fashion.
Let me explain something to you, Bruce. If you’re doing a lot of things wrong – and you are because you don’t have my book – a woman is going to resent you. If you have to ask if Pamela still digs you, she has low Interest Level, and that’s the problem here. But if you followed “The System” and were doing everything right, she wouldn’t be running hot and cold. Her interest wouldn’t be going up and down like a yo-yo. Anytime a man has a problem with a woman, it’s HIS fault because he’s not operating according to the principles of “The System.”
Dude, you don’t really know if Pamela is cheating on you or not. And you and Pamela can’t even talk to one another. You have a child together and you can’t even sit down and have a peaceful discussion with her. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “You treat her horribly, and that’s what she gives you back.” Or maybe you’re doing a lot of things right and you just picked the wrong woman because you didn’t have “The System.” And, most importantly, without my book, you’re never going to know the difference.
Okay, let’s say that Pamela did meet with one of her exes one time. Whose fault was that? If it happened, it was because...
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