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He did drugs before and the abuse robbed him of his ability to pay attention and women have noticed it when they talk to him. Is it impossible for him to date or can he do something about it?
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Taylor lives right down the block from me. Her family recently had my family over for a barbecue. I’d wanted to ask Taylor out ever since, so today I decided to go for a walk and stop by her house and finally ask her out. Once I got there we talked for about 15 or 20 minutes. First we talked about college and how she’s taking classes all summer long. She also said her teacher freaked her out today because he told the class they were behind on material and would be covering a lot more in the coming weeks. She also told me she has a big test next week that she was nervous about (I don’t blame her, because anatomy and physiology are not the easiest courses).
Anyway, I finally got around to asking if Taylor wanted to go out next week. She asked what day and let me know she has work and classes Monday through Thursday and Sunday. So I said “Let’s go on Friday.” Her answer wasn’t exactly what I wanted. She said maybe, but that she would have to see how she does on her test first. Before I left I got her number so that I could call her and find out if Friday was going to work.
What should I do? I feel that if Taylor really was into me and wanted to go out she would have just said yes, and would have found a way to get her studying done. Do you think Taylor is just being a responsible student and truly does want to find out how she does on her test before making plans? Even if she bombs the test I can’t imagine that would mean she would clear her schedule as a result and only study for the rest of the weekend.
As you can see I am doubtful of what Taylor said, and don’t want to call her about the date I proposed just so that she can say no. Should I call her and see how she did on her test, or is this test thing just an excuse so Taylor didn’t have to say no to me in person?
Fitz - who’s confused as hell
Dating Women Podcast Episode 12
*An introduction to Doc Love's principles
*Why you should never accept a maybe date
*Both topics were taken from LIVE interviews Doc had in Houston with popular radio personality Outlaw Dave.
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
First of all, it was a HUGE MISTAKE to ask Taylor if she wanted to go out with you next week. And this tells me right off the bat that you don’t have my book. Guy, you don’t come right out and ask a girl out. You ask her for her phone number. To you Psych majors, asking for a girl’s phone number is the first test of her Interest Level. If you ask a girl directly if she wants to go out, you’re asking about her feelings, which you’re not supposed to do. If she said yes, you would have to ask for her phone number anyway.
The point is that you would just cut to the chase by asking for the phone number. Then you wait a week to call her. Why? Because every other guy calls within the first two days. Secondly, the initial stages of the relationship are a cat and mouse game. Therefore, you have to go in SLOWLY and show that you’re different from all the other guys who are after her.
As soon as Taylor told you that she had to see how she did on her test before committing to the date, you should have WITHDRAWN THE OFFER by saying “I see that you’re busy with school, so give me your number and I’ll call you after you’re done with the test.” Whether the test is legitimate or not, you don’t want to be right in the middle of it, causing her additional stress.
Then you said you were going to call Taylor to verify the date -- another no-no. Calling back to verify a date NEVER works. Furthermore, you have no position or foothold in the relationship with Taylor, and shouldn’t be asking her out for a Friday night. You should be asking her out for Sunday through Thursday.
Fitz, if you had just asked for Taylor’s phone number, you could have gotten past the timeframe of her test. She’s making an excuse for not seeing you because of the test, so you went and asked her for a date that was right in the middle of her study and ended up with a “definite maybe” date, which is no date at all. So you didn’t approach and handle this thing properly because you don’t have my book and are ignorant of my techniques.
It’s true that if Taylor wanted to go out with you, she would have said yes. But you don’t know whether all of her study obligations are legitimate. If she’s really freaking out over her test, she won’t want to see anyone because she has to do homework. I’m giving Taylor the benefit of the doubt here because you asked her out at the worst possible time – when she’s buried in her work and told you she was freaking out to begin with.
Yes, I think that Taylor is sincere about her study obligations. But whether she is or not is beside the point. You should have gone around it, like I said earlier. But you don’t have my book and you don’t listen to my DATING WOMEN RADIO SHOW every Wednesday where we cover this material. And like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Hey man, you’re asking this girl to do too much work for you.” She’s in the middle of work and a test that she’s really concerned about. You should have avoided it by asking her out for after the test was finished.
Now you have to stick with your plan. You’ll call Taylor for the Friday date and she’ll say no. Then you have to say “I’ll give you a call after your test is all done.” Again, you should have waited to ask her out when all her school business was finished.
Remember, guys: if she’s in the middle of her finals, wait until she’s finished to ask her out.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
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