Are His Issues Too Much? | Doc Love - Dating Advice For Men

Dating Women Advice: Did Woody Harrelson Ever Have Problems Keeping Girls Interested?

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He did drugs before and the abuse robbed him of his ability to pay attention and women have noticed it when they talk to him.  Is it impossible for him to date or can he do something about it?

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READER'S QUESTION

Hey Doc,


I don’t know if you can coach me because I have a unique issue, but I thought I would try. And let me say that I’ve read “The System” and I love what you have to say. You’ve really made me think outside of myself to see how other people think of me and my actions, and how to use that knowledge to increase my chances with the ladies!


Anyway, I’m 25 and a pretty decent looking guy. Whenever I go out for a drink at a bar or even to a fast food restaurant girls give me the eye. I play it cool by not showing too much interest. I keep any interaction nonchalant and humorous and I’m really successful in the approach. At first the girls are all over me. It’s afterwards that the problem comes in.

It’s hard for me to keep things progressing with a girl after the initial newness of getting to know each other. And this is because I had some bad drug experiences and have suffered the residual effects, such as not being able to recall things that were just said to me five seconds ago. I forget most things I hear, and I have problems feeling the connection and excitement of bonding with someone. Before these bad drug trips I was runner-up for valedictorian at my high school, I was very sharp, very popular and a well-liked kid. I’ve been on medication, probably 15 different kinds, that target and help different parts of my mind, but none have worked. So I’ve stopped traveling that route and have accepted how I’m feeling.


Girls that like me initially can sense pretty soon that something’s not quite right with me. They know that I’m off, and most have asked if I’m alright. I’m not too “in the moment” most times and have problems keeping conversations going. I can’t help it when it happens. The doctors have figured out that what I have is depersonalization disorder.

Doc, I have great respect for you. How would you deal with this if you were me? Should I tell the girl that I have a problem or keep quiet about it? I’ve lost so many girls because of something I wish I could have control of but don’t. I’m about 85% sure this isn’t inside the normal realm of questions you’re used to answering, but what should I do to increase my odds of winning a girl when I have a problem I can’t fix?

Klay - who should have stayed away from the dope

DOC LOVE'S ANSWER

Hi Klay,

First of all, I want to congratulate you for realizing that “The System” has made you think outside of yourself and see how other people think of you and your actions, and how to use that invaluable knowledge to increase your chances with the ladies. That’s a terrific point of observation and demonstrates to me that you have brains, my friend. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “When you have such intelligence and insight, there is hope for you to find your way out of your dilemmas.”

It’s obvious that attracting and meeting women is no problem whatsoever for you and that your real issue -- not being able to tune into a girl – kicks in only after you’ve already made some connection.

Now it depends on how often this happens, Klay. What you’re going to have to do is learn to bluff a little. I’m sure that not being able to pay attention doesn’t happen when it comes to every single thing a girl says, and if it does, you have to find a doctor who has the right medication for you. But if it happens only occasionally when you’re with a girl for two or three hours, you’ll be able to figure out a way to make it past that point. And if you can do that, your problem will be MANAGEABLE.


Forget about the... 

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