Hey Doc,

First of all, I’d like to thank you. Your materials guided me through an era of “wimpus spinelessness.” I started reading your columns and moved on to “The System.” Like all men who didn’t buy it at first, I regret not getting it earlier.

Jessica is 20 and majoring in interior decoration. She broke off a long abusive relationship a few months ago. I first saw her at a work meeting where she took a keen notice in me. When we finally got to talking we had good chemistry. I didn’t ask for her number then. We talked on Facebook, where I think I appeared a Challenge. I’d sometimes disappear offline, and she’d remark about me being mysterious.

Finally, I called and asked her out. She loved talking a lot on the phone. I know I’m not supposed to talk on the phone, but I didn’t know what to do when she was the one doing the talking, so I listened. That’s when she opened up about relationships, family, and everything else. As you advised, I didn’t open up to her on my past relationships.

During our date, she kept finding ways to bring up all these topics. I kept saying I didn’t want to talk about it. I asked her out again for the next week. But here is where I may have screwed up. She had a guy friend dropping by her home for a work project that day and I may have shown a hint of jealousy, which she noticed. She told me he was just a good friend, which I really had no problem with.

Now, this is where I think I started really messing up. My interest rose over 90%. Jessica and I started talking on the phone all the time. She told me her negative view on modern relationships. (She doesn’t believe they last.) I couldn’t help thinking she isn’t over her last relationship. Then she started being distant. She said she wasn’t sure she wanted to go out on another date. I told her that we should meet again when she was sure.

A couple days later I lost control of myself and called her five times in six hours before she finally picked up. I waited a few more days, then called her from an unknown number. I asked her out, but she told me she had a lot of things in her plate. She mentioned that her guy friend was leaving the country that weekend. I said to her, “He’s leaving on the weekend and you can’t meet me on Wednesday?”

I followed “The System” and deleted her number, and I’ve since ignored her on Facebook. Doc, is talking on the phone so lethal? What did I do wrong?

Rap - who’s feeling down