Predictable=BORING | Doc Love - Dating Advice For Men

Dating Women Advice: Would Diddy Care If She Went Back To Her Ex?

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He became predictable - and that was BORING to her - so he was OUT.  Find out how NOT to make that MISTAKE!

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READER'S QUESTION


Hey Doc,

I love “The System,” which I bought when I was in high school. I have taken a lot of the lessons from it and applied it to my life ever since. I think I do okay with women and I’ve had my fair share of girlfriends. It took me a while before I finally started dumping them instead of getting dumped, but I feel I’m getting better at it all the time -- until recently.

Courtney was awesome. She was hard-working, not the prettiest girl I have ever been with, but still cute. There was just something about her I really liked. But I did not hang out with her excessively. We both had our own lives. We both go to the same college, but live three hours apart. We are both on break now and we have seen each other only once since then. We were never officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but everyone kind of assumed we were. I feel I presented Challenge by going out with friends, and it was obvious to Courtney that other girls liked me. I even had a few girls try incredibly hard to steal me away when I was with Courtney.

But what I don’t understand is that ever since we haven’t been able to see each other with our busy schedules our mutual feelings have faded. She told me two weeks ago that she had started talking to her ex again and felt guilty about it and had to tell me. I told her that if that was the case, I did not want to date anymore. This resulted in a few arguments over the situation. I didn’t message her for the following week, then she said she had to talk to me. It turns out that she is now dating her ex again. She said she feels bad about it and wants us to be friends. I told her that I no longer wanted to talk to her. She has continued to apologize to me over what happened, but I haven’t responded.

Doc, my question is this: is this relationship ultimately finished? I am not going to pursue it, but did I do the right thing if I want to be an alpha male who will be a Challenge? I am going on dates with two different girls next week, but for some reason I can’t stand the fact that Courtney did this to me. I just don’t know where I went wrong. She was the one I liked best out of all the girls I’ve been with. I just want some constructive criticism to not only grow but to become that much better in my future relationships. For some reason this blow from Courtney is bothering me even though I was never officially with her.

Arnold - who hopes he took the right stand

DOC'S ANSWER


Hi Arnold,

When a guy studies “The System,” he begins to realize that usually one of two things happens in a relationship: one, someone gets dumped, and worse, they both get married. But what you have to remember is that Interest Levels never move at the same time and pace for both people involved in the relationship. It simply doesn’t happen. Usually one person’s interest is in the 80s, and the other’s is 49%. The one who is at 49% will feel nothing at the breakup, while the one at 85% is going to feel all the pain.

You say that you didn’t hang out with Courtney excessively. Dude, you’re not supposed to...

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About the Author

Leave a Reply 2 comments

Zarko - 23 July 2015 Reply

Hey Doc,

The girl displays a behavior of low self-esteem. Even if the guy did wrong, isn’t it good that it is all over? It is quite difficult to keep such a girl interested without going nuts yourself.

Whenever you do wrong, she feels insecure, or things don’t happen HER way, she will go back to her ex.

Girls need a system, too.
Not all of them are worth it just because they looked like angels.

Thanks Doc,
Zarko

    DocLove - 23 July 2015 Reply

    Hey Zarko – I didn’t really get out of this that she has low self-esteem – I hear what you’re saying but there really isn’t enough information in his question to know for sure whether or not she has low or healthy self-esteem. What I will tell you is that a good woman that wants to be with you is not going to wait forever – if you don’t do your part and step up to the relationship then she will find someone else. I actually think the ex in this situation is the guy that’s really making the error – one chance per woman, per lifetime.

    You are right about one thing – women could benefit by reading THE SYSTEM and then reverse engineering it so they become the type of person that is attractive to good guys in a long-term relationship.

    I appreciate your support and thanks for your comments!

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