She's at it again. Ms. Hax had two articles recently- one was about a guy that a girl broke up with, but he wouldn't go away. As you SYSTEM guys know, I have no tolerance for stalkers, it's wrong.
They should be put in jail when possible- I have no problem with that article by Ms. Hax.
However, the other article O-BOY! There she goes again.
A woman wrote to say she gave up her goal of becoming a doctor for a guy and now she resents it.
They're not married yet so that makes it a lot less complicated. Ahh, but here's Ms. Hax's response paragraph. “You pre-empt resentment by finding another vocation plus life-purpose combination that's as appealing to you as being a doctor."
Here's my advice to that young lady: Life's about choices; if your fiancé has clearly stated what he wants from the relationship, i.e., he doesn't want you become a doctor, you have a choice.
A woman with HIGH INTEREST LEVEL in her fiancé wouldn't think twice about what she wanted to do. You should drop this man and pursue your dream of being a doctor; your interest level in your fiancé is not high enough.
Ms. Hax uses buzzwords like she's giving up, capitulating, sacrificing, etc., etc. It's none of that; these two people just have different dreams. Marriage is a commitment that must have at its core, a woman with high interest level (in the 90's) and a man that's going to stay faithful, respectful and raise children (if they have any) in a loving home). They have to both want this, otherwise, why do it?
Guys, it's why I say this over and over again. Take your time, go slow, and get to know each other.
What Ms. Hax doesn't get is that a woman with high interest level in a man doesn't ask for advice about what to do, the most important thing in her world is to be with the man she loves. The doubt and asking for advice comes because she's not sure what she wants to do. IE- her interest level in the guy is not high enough.
Doctor? Wife? She's not sure. That's ok, but, call it what it is.
If this guy was a SYSTEM guy, he would have moved on. Marriage is a lifetime commitment; don't go there with a woman that resents you because she gave up being a doctor. Do you think it will get better over time?
No, it won't.
As Dave Mason's song said: "There ain't no good guys, there ain't no bad guys. There's just you and me and we just disagree."
Do each other a favor and move on.
Until next time, thanks for all your support.
Jeff and I appreciate it.