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DOES A GIRL EVER TURN HER HEAD WHEN JOHN MAYER TRIES TO KISS HER?

Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen

Success Coach - Doc Love

I’ll cut to the chase. I got Amanda’s number, waited a week to call like “The System” instructed, set up a date four days in advance and didn’t see or call her until then. Date night came along and we went to a nice chill-out spot where we shot some pool, hung out, and drank. Amanda was giving me buying signals galore, touching, laughing, and her eyes were lit up like a Mack truck. She even had the audacity to give me a smack on the butt when it was my turn to take a pool shot.

At the conclusion of the date, we walked back to the car and I went to open her door. Boom, she grabbed me and went for the kiss. Like you say, Doc, “When they like you, they let you know.” On the way back home, she said, “I’m not very tired. Can we go over to your place and watch a movie or something?” The old me would have said, “Sure, why not? I’m not doing anything.” However, “The System” teaches that you drive the woman to and from one destination when you make these dates. And also, even though I badly wanted to take her to my place, I remember that one must have Self-Control and discipline, so I refrained. I said “You know, I have to get up early tomorrow to get some work done.”

Now this was where it got a little choppy. When I dropped her off at her apartment, I said, “Let me walk you to your door.” She said, “No, I’m fine.” Then I hugged her and went for the good night kiss, but she turned her face and gave me her cheek. (This was after she gave me all those buying signals, which made me, believe her Interest Level was as high up as Mount Everest.) I was upset, but I held my composure. My question is this. Could Amanda’s Interest Level have plummeted so fast? Do you think she was throwing a hissy fit because I turned her down for a movie at my place? I’d really appreciate your insight on this scenario.

P.S. You’re the man, Doc. Oprah, Dr. Phil and all those “wannabe” love doctors can kick rocks, because you tell it like it is, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. And that’s how it should be told.

Trenton - who’s trying to be better than Doc Love

Hi Trenton,

It’s great that you made a date for four days after you called Amanda. But you might even want to make the date five to eight days later. Because the longer you wait to call and don’t talk to a girl before that first date, it will drive her crazy with anticipation. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Never underestimate the power of Challenge.”

There’s no question that all of the buying signals Amanda was showing you were great. But the more important question is this: will she be doing the same thing after 10 to 12 dates?

It’s likewise beautiful that you told Amanda you had to get work done when she came on to you. Ninety percent of the guys out there could not do what you did. What’s worse is that for those same 90%, it would never even enter their minds! Trenton, most guys wouldn’t even consider the possibility of doing what you did. Instead they think, hey, she’s coming on to me – why not? But you still have to show Self-Control in the face of an onslaught of incoming attention from a woman. And this is what the vast majority of men do not understand about Challenge.

Now, where you went wrong with Amanda is that you didn’t kiss her at her front door. You shouldn’t be kissing a girl in the street or leaning on the car. When Amanda said that you didn’t have to escort her to her front door, you should have let her walk. But you didn’t. Your Self-Control escaped you for the moment and you grabbed her and tried to kiss her instead. You shouldn’t have done that. Like my cousin General Love says, “When you lose your self-possession for even a few seconds, you lose ground.”

I know that Amanda gave you all kinds of buying signals in the bar, but like I said, it doesn’t mean anything. To you Psych majors, until you get to 10 or 12 dates, nothing counts. But it’s commendable that even though you were upset you held onto your composure and didn’t let Amanda know she got to you. Your study of my materials is serving you well, and once you clear up some minor mistakes, you’re going to be on top of your game, guy.

Amanda’s Interest Level didn’t plummet fast, Trenton. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “The beer wore off, that’s all.” She might have been playing a game with you by paying you back for not taking her up on her offer to go and hang at your place, but otherwise everything basically went great on your date. So wait another week, call her up, act like nothing happened, and ask her out again. Then, if you make it to 10 or 12 dates and she’s still mauling you, you’ll know where you really stand with this babe. So you’ve got a way to go, my friend.

But remember: you kiss the girl at the front door. You don’t kiss her as you get out of the car and you don’t smooch her in a public place. And if she wants to walk to the front door by herself, that’s her prerogative. What you’re supposed to do is make sure she gets into her house safely and that she’s securely inside before you drive off.

Remember, guys: at the end of the date, kiss her on her doorstep – not anywhere else.

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For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

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