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get stuck.
Been reading your articles now for the past year or so. They provided me with a lot of inspiration to keep going after relationships didn’t work out or if I’m in a drought. But now I’m enamored with one particular girl and I’m stuck.
A little back story. I was transferred overseas by my job. The first day at work I was stunned to find that a beautiful girl, Nico, worked at my new office (a big surprise, considering that I’m an engineer on a construction site). For the first month there was a lot of casual flirting between us. Finally I asked her out on a date, she said yes, and it was perfect. Afterwards it ended with a proper kiss. Needless to say, I was stoked. We went on a couple more dates and all was well with the world.
I painstakingly tried not to get ahead of myself, but we did get very romantic and it was even more wonderful. Fast-forward a few weeks and several more special nights and she drops a huge bomb on me: she has a boyfriend. Crap. I was shocked. She never even said anything about him. But then she drops an even bigger bomb: he’s coming to work at the same site as us and he’s moving in with her!
So I backed off, he moved in, and Nico slowly started getting tired of his BS. She wouldn’t tell me anything about her relationship with him, and I didn’t pry. By the way, I got the word from a mutual friend, who happened to mention it in passing. He didn’t even know Nico and I had any form of relationship going on.
Anyway, after a couple of months Nico’s boyfriend got fired and moved back to his hometown. Things started to heat up between Nico and me again. After spending time together for another month and a half with no boyfriend in sight, things were good again.
What a sucker I am. Now she’s leaving on a three-week holiday with the boyfriend. The day she left, I gave her gave her a lift to her house. When I dropped her off, it was a terrible goodbye, with no hug and no kiss. When I left, I got about 15 minutes down the road and turned around. Then Nico and I had a proper goodbye, very emotional. It was then I made my biggest mistake: I told her that I was in love with her. I didn’t get an “I love you” back. Instead I got “I have a love for you, but I don’t know if I’m in love with you.”
What the hell do I do now?
Puck - who’s a retard at relationship
Hi Puck ,
Let me ask you something. You’ve read 52 of my articles, you’re totally obsessed with a girl you can’t handle, you’re heartbroken -- and you don’t have my book? What are you waiting for, my friend -- more pain and torture?
When Nico dropped the boyfriend bomb on you, you should have said, “As soon as you’re done with this guy, call me.” What you have to remember here is that this girl is going out with you and making out with you behind her boyfriend’s back. So she’s running two stooges -- that you know of. Who knows how many more she’s got? What this means is that Nico can’t do without the incoming attention. She loves the fact that there are two guys coming at her and she’s the one controlling the whole mess.
Then she has the nerve to bring the boyfriend to work with you and move in with him! This girl has a lot of Integrity, no doubt about that. But you believe she’s tired of the other guy’s BS. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “They always say that, but she didn’t move out, did she?” The fact that you didn’t tell the mutual friend anything about you and Nico shows you could handle something right, though.
Now let me get this straight because I can hardly believe it: after the other guy got canned from the job and went home, you went back to Nico? That was the biggest mistake of your life! In case you haven’t noticed, this girl is UNTRUSTWORTHY. You can’t trust her at all. She used you. So why in the world would you want to go back to her? Like the great Doctor Freud once said, “Did your mother take away your blanket when you were two years old?”
Now she’s left for a long holiday with the old boyfriend who was supposedly out of the picture. Man, this girl can really operate! She manipulates you with the skill of a great artist. Women are always complaining that guys are players. Well, you’ve got a player right here, Puck! And like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “She owns two turkeys -- you at work, the other dope on holiday.”
Nevertheless, you gave Nico a lift the day she left. Why? You should have thrown her number into the toilet and flushed instead. You should never even have talked to this girl again. When you’re at work, smile and be cordial, but as far as dating her, you’d have to have rocks in your head to open the door to more pain. Nico has shown you her true colors, but you won’t look at them. But of course you don’t have my book, so what could you expect?
Did you really expect Nico to hug and kiss you goodbye? Dude, she’s going to an island to kiss another guy for three weeks! Don’t you get it? She doesn’t want anything to do with you. And why would you want to kiss her?
The goodbye on her doorstep wasn’t emotional for Nico – it was emotional for you. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, “Dawg, this girl really did some number on your head!” And I have more bad news for you, pal. Nico doesn’t have any emotions. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “This girl’s not a keeper. She’s a snake and a user.”
But you went and blurted out that you loved her. Great! She’s going off to spend three weeks in bed with some guy on an island, and you’re telling her you love her. Hey, that’s perfectly rational in my book!
When Nico told you she had “a love” for you, it was the only honest thing she ever said in her life. To you Psych majors, when a girl says something like that, it means she’s NOT in love with you. It means she’s just playing with you.
The fact is that you never owned this girl, buddy. If you had, she wouldn’t have pulled all this crap on you. But you would only have known that if you’d read “The System.”
There’s only one thing you can do now, Puck: get my book, memorize it, and don’t just flip through another 52 articles.
Remember, guys: if she hurts you once, don’t allow her to hurt you twice
