Dating Women Advice: Was Liev Schrieber Crushed When Naomi Watts Needed To Be Single?

I CANNOT BELIEVE HE'S CONFUSED

​She said she needs space and to be single and he's confused on the meaning of that???  What???!!!

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Dating Women Podcast #097 & #098

097:  You never want to hear - "let's get together as friends" from her - OUCH!
098:  You are automatically in the friend zone if you do this

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READER'S QUESTION

Hey Doc,

Dakota and I were in a relationship for two and half years before we hit a snag where she said she needed space. I gave it to her, but we were still in contact. Anyway, we ended up back together and even went window shopping for engagement rings before we hit another snag. This one was “I just need to be single.”

Since then I have made no effort to contact Dakota. When she contacts me, I tell her that it’s best that we don’t talk until we’re both on the same page again. I can honestly see a future with her, but at this time she is very confused about her own self and I wish I could be there to help. She gets angry at me for bringing up the subject of the relationship or hanging out with her family. (I have become friends with her sister and her sister’s fiancé and sometimes they like to hang out with me.) Her family tells me that I did wonders for Dakota and they hope things work out because they too have grown to love me. Dakota wants to be friends but has no interest in seeing me, has now stopped calling me on the phone and is restricting herself to internet contact. Her Facebook statuses are as follows: “Tired, confused, got a lot on my mind, in need of a vacation.” I feel these posts are mixed signals to me.

I am having trouble getting over Dakota. I am strong enough to not contact her directly, but I will reply when she contacts me. I have made it clear to her sister that I do not want to talk about Dakota, and they have assured me that they would like to remain in touch with me.

When Dakota contacts me she seems to be doing it “to be the better person,” and “just to be nice,” but she seems angry, and from my experience, this could mean that she is not over me either. It just seems like she is hot then cold the very next minute, so I do not know how to approach this situation. Even though I told her not to contact me, she still does, though I notice that the contact is less and less.

Doc, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’d be grateful for any thoughts you have on my predicament.

Atticus - who is heartbroken and confused


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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER

Hi Atticus,

First of all, anytime a woman uses the word “space,” you’re DEAD. And when she utters the word “single,” it’s every bit as bad as the word “space,” and it means that you’re OUT. And in turn it means that her Interest Level has dropped below 50%, which means that there is no recovering.

Atticus, the really sad part is that at one time in this relationship, perhaps for a year and a half to two years, Dakota had high Interest Level in you. But due to your deportment, you slowly lowered it. Since I notice that you don’t mention “The System,” you’re not aware of how this process of deterioration works and you don’t even see that it’s going on. If you would have had my book one year before you met Dakota, she would be begging you for babies right now. Instead, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Just the thought of you touching her makes her skin crawl.”

How can you envision a future with Dakota when she doesn’t even want to be in the same room with you? How obvious does she have to make it before you get the drift that you’re not just out, but that you’re COMPLETELY OUT?

Dude, Dakota isn’t confused at all – you’re the one who’s confused. She has low Interest Level, you’re out, and you think she has high interest and that you’re still in. That’s why you’re confused – not her.

Guy, Dakota doesn’t want you around her family anymore. What’s the point? This thing is over. To you Psych majors, when you lose the girlfriend, you lose the family too. Most guys don’t realize this. What are you going to do, hang around Dakota’s family and show up to her wedding when she marries her real love? So forget her sister and her fiancé. That’s dead, gone, and finished. Sure, they love you – but what good is it when your girlfriend is out of love with you?

Dakota’s Facebook posts aren’t mixed signals at all. They are very, very clear signals to you, my friend. They are saying that you are history. And again, why are you going to be friends with a couple related to a woman who dumped you? And you think they’re never going to talk about Dakota with you? Come on, Atticus, how unrealistic can you be?

You don’t know what Dakota’s motives are when she contacts you. The only thing you can know for sure is that you’re OUT. You definitely need my book, man. Again, if you’d had “The System,” this disaster never would have happened. But Dakota began to lose interest in you between a year and a half and two years before the breakup, and it slid all the way from 95% to below 50%. And when it hit 49%, she said “I’m out of here!”

You can’t approach this situation anymore, Atticus. You have to get my book and memorize it ASAP and find someone new who you haven’t blown it with. The truth is that you’re not rejecting Dakota when you tell her not to contact you because you’re already out.

Remember, guys: unless you memorize “The System,” you’ll just repeat the same mistakes with the next woman you meet.

Hi Atticus,

 

First of all, anytime a woman uses the word “space,” you’re DEAD. And when she utters the word “single,” it’s every bit as bad as the word “space,” and it means that you’re OUT. And in turn it means that her Interest Level has dropped below 50%, which means that there is no recovering.

 

Atticus, the really sad part is that at one time in this relationship, perhaps for a year and a half to two years, Dakota had high Interest Level in you. But due to your deportment, you slowly lowered it. Since I notice that you don’t mention “The System,” you’re not aware of how this process of deterioration works and you don’t even see that it’s going on. If you would have had my book one year before you met Dakota, she would be begging you for babies right now. Instead, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Just the thought of you touching her makes her skin crawl.”

 

How can you envision a future with Dakota when she doesn’t even want to be in the same room with you? How obvious does she have to make it before you get the drift that you’re not just out, but that you’re COMPLETELY OUT?

 

Dude, Dakota isn’t confused at all – you’re the one who’s confused. She has low Interest Level, you’re out, and you think she has high interest and that you’re still in. That’s why you’re confused – not her.

 

Guy, Dakota doesn’t want you around her family anymore. What’s the point? This thing is over. To you Psych majors, when you lose the girlfriend, you lose the family too. Most guys don’t realize this. What are you going to do, hang around Dakota’s family and show up to her wedding when she marries her real love? So forget her sister and her fiancé. That’s dead, gone, and finished. Sure, they love you – but what good is it when your girlfriend is out of love with you?

 

Dakota’s Facebook posts aren’t mixed signals at all. They are very, very clear signals to you, my friend. They are saying that you are history. And again, why are you going to be friends with a couple related to a woman who dumped you? And you think they’re never going to talk about Dakota with you? Come on, Atticus, how unrealistic can you be?

 

You don’t know what Dakota’s motives are when she contacts you. The only thing you can know for sure is that you’re OUT. You definitely need my book, man. Again, if you’d had “The System,” this disaster never would have happened. But Dakota began to lose interest in you between a year and a half and two years before the breakup, and it slid all the way from 95% to below 50%. And when it hit 49%, she said “I’m out of here!”

 

You can’t approach this situation anymore, Atticus. You have to get my book and memorize it ASAP and find someone new who you haven’t blown it with. The truth is that you’re not rejecting Dakota when you tell her not to contact you because you’re already out.

 

Remember, guys: unless you memorize “The System,” you’ll just repeat the same mistakes with the next woman you meet. 

Hi Garry,

 

As soon as you began having trouble with your wife, you didn’t have “The System” overnighted to you (or buy my immediate downloads - ELECTRONIC SYSTEM or SYSTEM AUDIO). Why not? Do you realize the terrible anguish you could have saved yourself? All that time Donatella’s interest was going from 90%...to 88%...to 85%...to 82%, etc. And as most American men do, you noticed it finally when it hit 60% or 57% or somewhere in that area. “The System” says that this woman probably once loved you. You’ve been with her for 15 years, and she probably loved you for eight to 10 years of that time. After that, because you took her for granted, her Interest Level began to drop.

 

And let me explain something to you. Interest Level doesn’t drop from 100% to 49% in an hour, or overnight, even though that’s the man’s perception of what’s going on. No, like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “It takes time and negligence to erode.” That’s why if you’d have memorized my materials, when it went from 91% to 89% you would have known to start getting into my MAINTENANCE PROGRAM, which will secure the woman wanting to stay with you forever. But like most men in America, you knew how to get her, but you didn’t know how to keep her. That’s why a majority of women recently reported in a national survey that they wouldn’t marry the same guy again. But since you didn’t have my book, what’s happened to you now is predictable.

 

You might have thought this situation was going to improve on its own, Garry, but when Interest Level goes 60%...58%..56%...54%, it’s like an airplane going down. It won’t pull up by itself. Like my cousin General Love says, “It just crashes and burns.” And that’s what happened with your wife. You murdered her Interest Level through your deportment.

 

So when your relationship with Donatella took another dive, why didn’t you Google a love doctor for some advice? The question to ask was, why is this woman so turned off when for eight or 10 years she idolized me? Dude, a good salary and taking care of your family financially doesn’t equate to romance to a female.

 

Your wife had been showing you for a long time that you were miles apart. Did she really have to verbalize it and tell you she no longer loved you? You’ve been with her for a long time, and when she finally said it after a deterioration of five or six years, it was only then that you sat up and took notice? Are you blind? And to you Psych majors, when she tells you that she no longer loves you, you are OUT.

 

Now let me explain something else to you. When Interest Level consistently drops, it’s NEVER temporary. It’s only temporary until she leaves. Then it’s final,

 

Now you’re in a fatal depression, pal. If you’d been studying my book all along, it would have made the pain more bearable. So the first thing you have to do now is have “The System” OVERNIGHTED to you and MEMORIZE it (or get an immediate download - SYSTEM AUDIO or ELECTRONIC SYSTEM). Because when it comes to women, you are absolutely clueless, even after you’ve lived with this woman for so long. Garry, I know more about your wife than you do and I’ve never even met the woman. And that’s very sad.

 

Then, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “You have to suck it up.” When Donatella calls, be polite, don’t talk about your relationship, ask her how much money she needs, send her a check and ask her if there’s anything more you can do for her. Maybe, with time, she’ll meet you for coffee, then maybe a dinner date, then maybe you’ll move into getting her back into the house. Try to talk to your kids as much as possible. You’ll have to apologize for blowing up and making a fool of yourself because when you did that, it only reinforced your wife’s low Interest Level. Because what she said to herself was that she didn’t realize that her husband was so lacking in Self-Control!

 

But no matter what, you still need my book. You need to find out where you went wrong with your wife. Like I said earlier, you’re clueless.

 

Whether or not Donatella has found someone else is beyond your control. So don’t make the problem even worse than it is. Get “The System,” study it like heck, and we’ll do our best to get her back.

 

Donatella didn’t throw away anything over nothing. You stopped romancing your wife and took her for granted. You never told her she was Beautiful. You didn’t treat her like a woman. If you did, she would still be all over you.

 

Remember, guys: to keep your wife in love with you, you have to date her.

About the Author

Leave a Reply 12 comments

Odogwu - 13 October 2017 Reply

Do you talk this way in your advanced class?
Do you think Corey Wayne essentially teaches your advanced class?

Charles Harrison - 14 November 2017 Reply

Honestly, I used the system and it works for a while on certain women, but nothing is fool proof long-term especially when it comes down to people and how they grow, change and develop over the years. Best thing to do in my opinion, is just go out with friends and keep things light and funny at all times with women (if a woman likes you she will make it known to you). The worst thing any man can do in my opinion is get married, because you lose out on a lot (freedom, money, choices due to compromise). Then again, if a man must get married I strongly suggest that it is out of extreme need or necessity, meaning he is 40-60 years old and needs help from a woman in some way, form or fashion.

    DocLove - 16 November 2017 Reply

    Marriage is not for everyone and you have made it clear it’s not for you but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work successfully for others. I also have to say that you have totally distorted what http://www.doclove.com/system is all about. If your view of marriage is one where you only get into it if you have to get something out of the woman means you’re probably not buying into THE SYSTEM FULLY. You say “Honestly, I used the system and it works for a while on certain women, but nothing is fool proof long-term.” Of course it’s not going to work for you ultimately because you view relationships as a us versus them proposition when you view a long-term relationship as “losing out on a lot.”

    The principles that are in http://www.doclove.com/system are timeless and if practiced gives you your best shot to have a long-term and successful partnership with a good woman (plenty of good women out there!)

    Many guys think it’s old fashioned and out of touch but I address that in my Mastery IV (http://www.doclove.com/mastery/#mastery-iv) article (#45 out of 80 articles) – this sums it up best

    #45: Lost In The Fifties?- 6/23/11

    I’ve heard the criticisms that I don’t get what relationships are all about in the 21st century- that I’m “lost in the fifties.”

    Really?

    Help me out, when did lying to your wife/husband become okay? In the 70’s, 80’s, 2000 or now in 2011? Is there an expiration date on being faithful to your partner? When did it become okay to break your word to the most important person in your life- your partner?

    Faithfulness, trust, integrity and keeping your word, IE, to be an honorable person, did they get “lost in the fifties?”

    When is it common sense to waste your time with a woman that has LOW INTEREST LEVEL?

    If they don’t think the above things are important, they’re not “lost in the fifties,” they’re lost right now.

    Fifties, sixties, seventies, 2000, 2011, it doesn’t matter, there’s no shortcuts, you’re either committed to a relationship or you’re not, being committed means being faithful. There’s no middle ground for either of you. If you can’t be faithful, don’t get married.

    I’m not “lost in the fifties” guys, I’m right here in the 21st century giving you the truth.

    I know this, if you just “wing it” in a relationship, IE, never pay attention to RED FLAGS, you’re heading for trouble. If you ignore the warning signs, it can turn your life upside down. I get emails all the time from guys that didn’t pay attention to the RED FLAGS and got themselves in the middle of a mess; it doesn’t have to happen to you.

    You have THE SYSTEM, my articles and the radio show, with them, you’ll never be “lost in the fifties.”

Jack - 20 November 2017 Reply

Hi doc,

Recently I got to know a gorgeous lady in my freelance job. I am happy we share similar values, but I wasn’t attracted to her initially, thinking she is out of my league. However, we coincidentally met again on our work, and she even smiled at me from afar on a few occasions, coming to me to talk, and even touching me on my arms and shoulders. I read these as positive signals. However, I failed to ask for her number as our work involve big groups of people together, and we had to stay alert most of the time. Thinking back, I think I should have just asked, even if it was in front of our co-workers. I have not seen her since, but I found her Facebook and Instagram profile, with some mutual friends. I am holding back from messaging her on Facebook as I did not want to appear as a stalker. Yet, I am unsure if we will see each other again. Should I continue to wait for her?

    DocLove - 21 November 2017 Reply

    Jack,

    Three things about this:

    1. SYSTEM guys (www.doclove.com/system) are NEVER out of anyone’s “league.” When you start out thinking that way you are broadcasting subtle (or not so subtle) signals that are limiting your chances. She may be gorgeous but she may think you are too – CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE should be what you have because SYSTEM guys bring what 90% of the men can’t bring women.

    2. Always be careful when it’s your LIVELIHOOD – mixing business and pleasure can be dangerous. You should have asked for her number only if you were 100% sure it wouldn’t mess up your job. Remember that out of 10 women you meet you are not going to go out with most of them – even the best SYSTEM guys are usually around 3 to 4 as a max so before you screw with your career ask yourself if it’s worth it to do it when the odds are already stacked against you.

    3. If you have decided that it’s worth it and there’s no risk to your job then go for it the next time you see her – don’t message her on social media. First of all if you aren’t connected to her it’s likely your message will fall into a folder that she might never see so the odds are against the message even reaching her and more important, second, it’s a WEAK play. She’ll think (consciously or unconsciously) that you didn’t have the stones to ask in person and now you’re hiding behind your devices. SYSTEM GUYS have the guts to ask in person and risk rejection on the spot. While it may be uncomfortable for you at the moment and not every ask is going to work it positions you as different than the vast majority of guys out there that don’t have the confidence to ask in person.

    Thanks for writing.

Jack - 21 November 2017 Reply

Thank you Doc for the reply.

Another question I have is:
Are the positive signs from her I mentioned above(smiling from far, coming over to talk, light touches on the arms and shoulders) considered genuine buying signals? Should these signs be what we should always look out for when talking to any women?

    DocLove - 22 November 2017 Reply

    They can be – but sometimes it can be the nature of the woman (IE, she could be just a friendly type). It’s definitely better than her turning away, refusing to look at you, etc but too many guys overrate the initial “buying signals” they get from a woman. The only way to know if she’s truly interested is to ask for the number and then have her show up for 10-12 dates with no red flags as detailed in http://www.doclove.com/system

    Thanks for writing

Jack - 8 December 2017 Reply

Hi doc,

I have not met her since the message above, and I am not sure if I will see her again.

Shall I just forget about her? Or can I just attempt the risky and weak move of messaging on social media?

    DocLove - 8 December 2017 Reply

    Jack,

    As I tell you guys never take women personally and don’t get too caught up in any one woman. Are the odds against you? Yes. If it doesn’t work will it be earth shattering? Not if you’re a SYSTEM guy (www.doclove.com/system) since you know there is an abundance of women for you to go for and that you only need ONE. That’s a long way of saying take a shot if you don’t think there’s any other way you’ll see her again – just don’t expect much. I hope that helps.

Jack - 9 December 2017 Reply

Thanks doc.

So is it better to ask for their numbers within the first 10 minutes of the initial conversation?

    DocLove - 10 December 2017 Reply

    You’re welcome Jack.

    As far when to ask for the # there’s no hard and fast rule – the idea is to CLOSE for the # as soon as you can but don’t start a timer in your head where you have to ask by the 10 minute mark or all is lost.

    You don’t want to ask her just after saying hi nor do you want to linger for the whole night – you want to ask at a natural breaking point in the conversation.

    When is that breaking point? Just a little before she wants it to actually end.

    You see, there is both a science and an art to THE SYSTEM (www.doclove.com/system) in that guys that just want to follow a certain set of rules aren’t as successful as guys that really absorb what I’m saying. You have to learn to feel the ebbs and flows of your conversation with her (you will get better with practice) and CLOSE for the number at a point in the conversation where it feels natural and you have spent enough but not too much time for her to get sick of you. In fact, you leave her at a point where she’s anticipating your call. I would say this time occurs sometime between 10-30 minutes but leave yourself open to other possibilities too – you might be sitting next to her at an 8 hour seminar! In that case I wouldn’t close until the end of everything (unless you really feel like risking her turning you down in hour 1 and then you have to sit next to her the rest of the day!)

    The bottom line is that it’s good to understand the framework of what I’m coaching you to do but when you’re out in the mix you have to be able to think on your feet. It’s like when Tom Brady sees something in the defense favorable to the offense and changes Bill Belichick’s play at the line and scores a touchdown. THE SYSTEM is not a dogmatic rule book where guys are robots marching along to my beat but it’s a living, breathing document that grows as guys write me here or call into to http://www.datingwomenradioshow.com and what it coaches you to do is BE THE TYPE OF MAN that most importantly YOU can respect and when YOU can respect YOU then so can the rest of the world – especially her.

    So, yes, keep studying and trying to learn the rules but don’t forget about the nuances – be willing to know this material so well you can pivot and call an audible just like a championship quarterback. I’m here for you on this blog and weekly on my radio show or via phone coaching at http://www.doclove.com/phone_coaching and I’m not here to have you blindly follow a set of rules but to really ABSORB and LEARN so that you ultimately become a GENTLEMAN which is irresistible to a good woman.

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