TOO BROKE TO TAKE WOMEN OUT?
She paid for most everything and is now starting to resent him - you can't date women if you're broke! Check out the article below and...
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Dating Women Podcast #69 & 70
Your article is right below this but first on this week's podcasts we give you:
*69: She wants less of his time than he wants of hers - not good.
*70: He thought by being a super challenge with a perfect 10 was the right way to go - it wasn't.
Hit the "listen now" link below to get these shows and connect to all of my podcasts (growing weekly!)
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I just recently discovered your columns as I was surfing the net trying to find a remedy to my predicament, which has lately been boiling in my head for a good solution.
So here it is. I met Bella about a year and half ago over the social network. I got her Interest Level high within a short period of time, and she was yearning to meet me. The meeting went quite well. She was stunning to look at and very friendly. I took her to an expensive restaurant, where she offered to pay for everything. Being a broke guy, I gladly accepted the offer, as any sensible man in my position would do. From there we began dating, but a few months into the relationship, things slowly began to change. I don’t know if it was because she was paying for a lot of our dates or something else. For instance, when we were talking on the phone she hung up on me, giving me an absolutely ridiculous excuse afterwards which didn’t even make sense for why she did it.
The first time this kind of thing happened I forgave Bella, but as time went on, I finally blew up and told her off, and she promised to change. There have been lots of ups and downs that have transpired in our lives, both personally and together. Recently things have been terrible between me and her, and we haven’t been in touch for over two weeks. My gut tells me to just leave Bella for good, but my guilty mind tells me that I should stay and repay her for everything that she’s done for me.
Doc, what do you think I should do about Bella? Should I just forget her or try to patch things up and repay all that she’s given me and done for me?
Wiz - who can’t get her out of his head
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I may have been able to find her, but I never would have been able to KEEP her without you, Jeff, and the "System."
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
First of all, you can’t push a woman’s Interest Level up if she hasn’t met you in the flesh. After she meets you, then – AFTER YOU PASS THE PHYSICAL ATTRACTION TEST – you can possibly ratchet up her interest, but not until then. So you’re mistaken to think that you can do it over the social network alone. She might be friendly and nice to you over the internet, but remember that you haven’t yet passed the physical.
Now let me get this straight. Why in the world would a broke guy take a date to an expensive restaurant? You should have met Bella for an hour at a Starbucks instead, where you could have gotten away for eight bucks for two cups of coffee. Now, if you’d met her at a party and talked to her for an hour, it would have made sense to go to a restaurant, but still not an expensive one. But not when you haven’t even set eyes on her – and she hasn’t set eyes on you -- in person.
Instead of calling yourself a sensible guy for letting Bella pay for your date, what you really meant to say was that you were a classless guy. A man without a proper upbringing lets a woman pay for a date. A slob with no social skills lets her pay. So that’s what you really meant to say. To you Psych majors, when you ask a woman out, YOU pay for the date. When she asks you out, SHE pays for it. You need lots of work, Wiz. And you need my book ASAP! Dude, if you can’t afford to ask a woman out, you don’t ask her out.
But hitting her up one time wasn’t enough for you. No, you hit her up for dates again and again. And she went along with it. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “Bella is playing the role of the man in your relationship.” What you’re supposed to do is take a woman out, then by the fourth or fifth date she will ask you over for dinner or she’ll offer to take you out, and you’ll know you have a Giver on your hands. But you’re letting Bella pay all the time and she’s just letting it happen. So Bella is just as screwed up as you are for allowing it. She’s thinking, “I won’t owe this guy anything if I pay for everything.” So actually her actions are a sign of low Interest Level.
Want to know why Bella hangs up the phone on you? There is a storm of RESENTMENT building up in her. She’s angry at being taken advantage of.
You’re the one who has to change, pal. And the only way you can do it is by getting and memorizing “The System” ASAP. Because, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “You’re clueless when it comes to women.”
You shouldn’t be having ups and downs when you’re together with Bella. When you have ups and downs when you’re with each other, it means you’re arguing over nothing. And you don’t know a thing about women, which just compounds the issue.
You want to repay Bella for all she’s done for you? Wiz, you can’t even pay for a first date! How are you going to pay her back for all those dates she sprang for? Are you dreaming?
What do I think you should do about Bella? I think you should stop dating her, but that’s only the second problem you have. The first and biggest problem is that you don’t have a clue when it comes to women, which means you’re in desperate need of “The System.” And you have to get a job where you can afford to pay for a first date and the dates afterwards until the woman decides to show you that she’s a Giver, at which time she’ll pop for a date.
Again, you have no money, so you can’t repay Bella for anything. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “What are you going to do – go to the bank and apply for a loan?”
Remember, guys: if you’re broke, don’t date.
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