Dating Women Podcast Episode 40
On this week's podcast we talk about:
Online dating where we really take a deep dive in understanding how to spot and quickly move on from women that are "fakes" and will waste your time and slow you down on your way to finding ladies you actually have a chance with.
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WHAT'S THE 411 ON THIS ARTICLE?
She wants him back - but ONLY because he tweaked her ego - he should NOT take her back. Find out why...
Read on and don't forget to listen to my Dating Women Radio Show EVERY WEDNESDAY at 5:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. ET
I am 39 years young, and a Doc Love Club member from South America. I own “The System” and “The System” audio book, and I really appreciate what you do for us guys.
You say in your book “One shot per girl per lifetime.” Here’s my story. Gigi is a dangerous creature, blond, blue eyes, long legs, a perfect 10. She’s intelligent, self-reliant, and she had high Interest Level in me when we started dating. So you can probably guess what happened next: I put her on a pedestal, became a Wimp, was always available and never a Challenge, and as a result lowered her interest. She never dumped me with words, but made me feel disrespected by her constant testing. One day I left her. Even though my Interest Level was high and I didn’t have your book at the time to help me, I walked, never looked back, never begged to get her back, and never called her. I gave her nothing.
One thing I must add: she was 19 when we started dating, and now she is almost 23. Like I said, I’m 39, but I look 10 years younger.
Our relationship ended two years ago. That was when I found “The System.” You always say give me a wounded heart, and I’ll give you back a believer in “The System,” and that is exactly my case. I’ve been dating other girls and “The System” gave me the ability to read every situation in the dating game. But now something new is happening and I need your help to read this situation correctly.
Gigi has recently reached out to me and told me she is sorry for her misbehavior. And she keeps reaching out to me. It’s always incoming, and I never call her and I never get emotional. But when she calls me she says she misses me, and that our relationship was special. She’s asked me out several times, and we’ve made out on a few of these dates. Two weeks ago she invited herself to my new apartment, and last week she came to see me playing at a gig (I’m a musician).
Doc, this girl looks like a model. I’m sure she can have any guy she wants. What is the bottom line here? Is this just inconsistent behavior? Is she trying to hold onto me until she finds another guy? Or am I missing something?
Bentt - who’s still interested in her
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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
Let me say first that you’re a very smart guy to have both the written and the audio versions of “The System.” Most guys only have one. But you’re getting a double dose of my principles – through the eyes AND the ears – so you’re going to learn much faster and more thoroughly than you normally would. Very wise, my friend.
You’re not alone in how you handled Gigi when you first dated, so don’t feel too bad. Most men do what you did – they lose all sense of Challenge and become Wimps. The trouble of course is that when the guy’s interest rockets into the 90s, it’s out of control. It’s best if the man’s interest is 80%-89%, and the woman’s is 90% to 100%. Once the man’s Interest Level climbs into the 90s, he actually becomes a different person. And that’s dangerous.
But you decided to leave Gigi and never look back. In other words, you finally became a tough guy, but you became a tough guy when it was already too late. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You shut the gate when the horse was already out of the corral.” You should have been a tough guy when you were dating Gigi.
Now Gigi is almost 23 years old. But what you fail to realize, Bentt, is that “almost 23” is still only 22. Gigi is still a young girl. And I don’t like the fact that that you’re 17 years older than she is. I don’t care how young you look. I don’t care if you look even younger than Gigi. Your life experience is almost twice what hers is. And so is your age.
Then you finally got my book, and it gave you the ability to read every situation in the dating game. This is phenomenal, Bentt, and I thank you for the compliment. Do you realize how mixed up most guys are when it comes to reading dating situations? And do you realize how much that ability is worth, and how much money you’re going to save by having it?
But now Gigi is back. Let me explain something to you, Bentt. The reason she’s coming at you is because you dropped her. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Nobody drops Beautiful Women.” That’s why she’s interested in you. But here’s the problem: SHE CAN’T HELP BUT REMEMBER ALL THE MISTAKES YOU MADE, even though theoretically you’re a new guy.
Sure, your relationship was special. That means it’s completed and in the past. But you’re going out with Gigi again. You can’t have it both ways, dude. What are you doing dating this girl? It’s over – one shot per girl per lifetime. That’s the rule. And remember, she’s still only 22 and you’re 39.
It’s not what this girl looks like, buddy. It’s what’s going on with her Interest Level. Forget the physical aspects – you and Gigi are beyond that. The bottom line is that she wants you back, but she remembers what a Wimp you were. That’s what you don’t seem to recognize. She doesn’t see the new Bentt. Her memory is all about you being a Wimp and never being able to stand up and say NO to her when she was testing you. So this is not inconsistent behavior. What happened is that you punctured Gigi’s ego. To you Psych majors, when you tell a Beautiful Woman goodbye, she has to come after you so that she can get you back and then drop you again.
Of course Gigi can find a guy every five minutes if she wants because she’s Beautiful. So you should be hustling other girls. And you can date Gigi if you want, but be aware of what she’s really doing here. So you have a choice. The trouble is that you had a relationship with Gigi and she treated you like crap, but you deserved it. As long as she has a memory bank, that memory won’t be erased. The real danger here is that if your Interest Level goes through the roof and you don’t date other women, you’re dead all over again.
Remember, guys: when you try to go back, she can’t forget all the mistakes you made in the past.
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