Dating Women Podcast Episode 32
More Outlaw Dave interviews featuring Doc are on this week's podcast including:
*You can't get her back
*Don't hate your ex
Hit the "listen now" link below to get this show!
PS - if you want even more audio - listen to our weekly Dating Women Radio Show (Wednesdays at 5:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. ET)
WHAT'S THE 411 ON THIS ARTICLE?
He's 38 and never had a girlfriend - can I help him? YOU BET!
Read on and don't forget to listen to my Dating Women Radio Show EVERY WEDNESDAY at 5:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. ET
I’m 38 years old and have never had a girlfriend. I met the girl of my dreams, Beth, at work a year and a half ago and had her literally chasing me. Due to inexperience, I crumbled and became a hesitating nervous wreck around her. By the time I did speak to her she had zero respect for me and couldn’t wait for her first chance to split from the interaction.
Afterwards I never felt so guilty or ashamed in my whole life. I totally blew my chances with a high quality woman who could have literally any guy she wanted, and she was chasing me. Now when I see her she acts as if I’m invisible and almost as if she’s afraid of me, or at least extremely uncomfortable.
I’ve been devastated for the past year, constantly stressing at how I can make things cool between us or at least say my piece. I break down and cry all the time. I feel as though I’ve been shunned by all women because of my nervous and awkward demeanor. I always thought of myself as a cool guy, but when the pressure built I crumbled like a pussy. I should add that I’ve always struggled with Self-Esteem. When Beth began to chase me, it took a lot of flirting by her for me to actually accept what was happening. I can’t believe how I acted and that I somehow sabotaged myself with what I believe to be my first chance at true love.
Whenever I hear guys at work talk about Beth now it’s like a dagger of shame every time. Also, I see Beth around the office from time to time and my heart pounds and I feel like I’m going to pass out from the anxiety. She won’t even look at me now. I think I repulse her and I feel like a piece of garbage. I wish I could fix this problem. Any advice, Doc?
Wilkie - who feels overwhelmed
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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
You say you’ve never had a girlfriend, but it’s obvious that you’ve read my columns because that’s why you’re writing me. Take heart -- you can be coached. You have to understand that I’ve trained all types of guys in all kinds of situations in all corners of the world – those who’ve never had girlfriends to men who’ve been married four or five times. I can bring any guy up to where he’s supposed to be with any woman IF he will accept my training. In other words you will get “The System” and study it, you will join the Doc Love Club and listen to my radio shows, then you will test yourself with my Mastery Series. After you do all of this, and you listen to what I say and you take dancing lessons and get some professional photos for the internet, I will change your entire life.
Wilkie, if you’re 38 and have never had a girlfriend, you have a long way to go, it’s true. But you are on the right road with me. I coach men from all over the world and different cultures, from the Sudan to Saudi Arabia, and my techniques work with ALL of them. But you’re in America, Wilkie, and you never even got my book and you’ve never studied it. So the problem is that when the girl of your dreams comes around, you won’t be able to take advantage of the opportunity and you won’t be able to do anything right because you have no past experience with women. I’m sorry for that and I know it happens. But what’s disturbing here is that you had the opportunity to get “The System” and you didn’t do it.
I understand your inhibitions with Beth on account of your lack of experience with women, but you should have grabbed my book and read it five times in one week in order to give yourself some background on how to approach and properly handle a dating relationship -- but you didn’t. She wanted to split from the interaction because you weren’t trained properly, my friend. But had I trained you a year before you met Beth, she would have been dying to go out with you and you would have known what to do.
You shouldn’t be ashamed about your behavior now. What you should really feel ashamed about is that you haven’t gotten my materials and bettered yourself. You can’t feel sorry for yourself because you haven’t improved. And THE ONLY WAY YOU’RE GOING TO IMPROVE IS THROUGH MY TRAINING. Since you wrote me, you know that I have something of value for you, otherwise you wouldn’t have wasted your time.
Beth might have been chasing you, but you didn’t know what to do or say to her at the time. Again, that’s because you’re not trained. But most men aren’t trained. Even those guys who have had a couple of girlfriends need my training.
If Beth is uncomfortable around you, just smile, say hi, and keep walking. A man of 38 shouldn’t be crying over a girl he’s never been out with, pal. If you had gone out with her for a year and a half and you were engaged to her and she just left you it would be a different story, but because of your lack of experience, everything that you do incorrectly is being blown out of all proportion to the situation.
You might feel shunned by women because you’re nervous, but my principles will cure that. But like I said, you have a lot of work to do. Until you do that work – which means getting my materials and immersing yourself in them -- you’re just going to have to sit around and feel sorry for yourself.
Let me explain something to you: every guy is nervous the first time he approaches a woman and asks for her phone number. But they do it. They have to do it in order to ask the woman out. But you never got that far with Beth. If you’d had my training for a year prior to meeting her, I could have built up your Self-Esteem and you would have been able to handle it.
You couldn’t believe that Beth was flirting with you because it never happened before and you weren’t prepared to deal with it. To you Psych majors, unless you’re trained by “The System,” you will NEVER, EVER, be successful with women.
My advice is to memorize my materials, which will pull you out of the pit you’re mired in. But, like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “If you keep doing what you’re doing, though, you’re going to get the same results.” Some guys need a lot more training than others, but that’s okay. You came to the right place. I’m the best at what I do.
Remember, guys: you only get one shot per woman per lifetime.
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