Dating Women Podcast Episode 22
Get the following and more:
*What does fantasy football have to do with dating? More than you think!
*Avoid a breakup after a trip. Sound silly? It's not - trips are DANGEROUS for relationships
*Advice on engagements and marriage
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PS - if you want even more audio - listen to our weekly Dating Women Radio Show (Wednesdays at 5:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. ET)
WHAT'S THE 411 ON THIS ARTICLE?
He thinks she's cheating on him but it's not his biggest problem - not by a long shot. Find out why below.
Read on and don't forget to listen to my Dating Women Radio Show EVERY WEDNESDAY at 5:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. ET
I’ve been dating Pamela for a few years now. We even have a child together (we live separately but co-parent) but Pamela confuses the hell out of me. One minute she is madly in love with me and all sentimental and gushy, but the next she resents me, and us -- meaning me and the baby -- and seems bitterly unhappy with me.
I’ve asked Pamela many times if she still feels the same way about me as she did at the beginning and she says that she does and that nothing is wrong. But at times I feel like she must be seeing someone behind my back and I start to get really angry and we fight. Whenever I accuse Pamela of cheating on me she gets very hostile and sometimes gives me the silent treatment, and it can last for quite a while.
Here’s the thing, Doc. I found that Pamela secretly met up at least once with one of her exes since she’s been with me. Since then I can’t trust her, and I feel like they’re still secretly meeting up. She swears that she isn’t, but my gut tells me otherwise.
I often find myself wanting to leave Pamela for good, but we always end up getting back together again somehow. We’ve gotten to the point where Pamela wants to take a lie detector test to prove her innocence. I would just like her to be truthful with me if she’s seeing someone else, whether it’s her ex or another guy, but she won’t budge on the issue and tell me the truth.
I’ve tried several different ways to try to solve our various issues as well but nothing has worked. I feel that Pamela is fickle, but she calls me the same thing. She always demands many things from me, which I try my best to meet. How can I solve my dilemmas with this woman?
HELP! I’m considering just cheating on Pamela or leaving her for good. The big problem I have is that I feel attached to her.
Bruce - who wants to lash out
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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
Wait a minute. You’re telling me that you and Pamela have a baby together and you’re not married? What kind of home is this child going to grow up in? In addition, you and Pamela don’t even live together, which means you can’t both love or raise this child at the same time. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Once you have a kid, the party is over.” Everything now should be about that child, not you and Pamela.
This woman confuses you because you don’t have “The System.” When you got into this relationship, you never used my book as a guide. If you had, you would have dropped Pamela before you had the child, or you would have gotten married and raised the child in a normal fashion.
Let me explain something to you, Bruce. If you’re doing a lot of things wrong – and you are because you don’t have my book – a woman is going to resent you. If you have to ask if Pamela still digs you, she has low Interest Level, and that’s the problem here. But if you followed “The System” and were doing everything right, she wouldn’t be running hot and cold. Her interest wouldn’t be going up and down like a yo-yo. Anytime a man has a problem with a woman, it’s HIS fault because he’s not operating according to the principles of “The System.”
Dude, you don’t really know if Pamela is cheating on you or not. And you and Pamela can’t even talk to one another. You have a child together and you can’t even sit down and have a peaceful discussion with her. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “You treat her horribly, and that’s what she gives you back.” Or maybe you’re doing a lot of things right and you just picked the wrong woman because you didn’t have “The System.” And, most importantly, without my book, you’re never going to know the difference.
Okay, let’s say that Pamela did meet with one of her exes one time. Whose fault was that? If it happened, it was because her Interest Level in you was extremely low because you two weren’t getting along. You brought this meeting on yourself, Bruce, because Pamela’s interest wasn’t in the 90s. If it was, and she was Loyal and you went by the techniques of “The System,” you wouldn’t be having these problems.
If Pamela won’t budge on the issue of cheating, why are you nagging her? To you Psych majors, nagging is a female trait. Like my cousin General Love says, “If you’re not going to win the battle, don’t go to war.” So why do you keep dogging Pamela over this issue? If she met a guy once, you can’t change it, and if she didn’t you can’t change it. So like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You’re beating a dead horse.”
You can try every wrong method from now until the end of time to solve your issues with this woman, but if you had “The System,” you WOULD be able to solve them. If you’d had my book, you would be happily married to a nice woman right now and have a beautiful child. But you two live separately and all you do is argue all the time. Do you really want to do this for the next 40 years? And do it in front of your child? How messed up will that kid be growing up in such a screwy environment? Your problem is that you don’t have any type of background with the principles that “The System” would give you. You’re stuck, and I really feel sorry for your child having to grow up in an atmosphere of constant strife.
Instead of leaving or cheating on Pamela, there’s a third alternative. GET MY BOOK, study it, and utilize my maintenance program, which teaches you how to keep her after you catch her. If Pamela’s interest is still above 50%, you can save this relationship. But you have to make some massive changes here, otherwise your child will grow up to be a nut just like its parents!
Remember, guys: without “The System,” you don’t have a chance with women.
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