Dating Women Podcast Episode 21
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*Never put her on a pedestal!
*What if she causes you drama?
*Is her negativity a deal breaker?
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WHAT'S THE 411 ON THIS ARTICLE?
The male ego amazes me - here's a guy whose girl TOLD HIM UP FRONT that her feelings toward him were hot and cold but he went ahead and got into a relationship anyway.
Guys - BELIEVE IT NOW when she tells you something like that. You want a girl that's all about you CONSISTENTLY from date 1 through the 40th year of marriage. Anything else and you're WASTING YOUR TIME like this guy who as you might guess, ended up in PAIN. YOU CANNOT FIX EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE YOUR EGO SAYS YOU CAN. If she's not into you - she's not into you.
Read on and don't forget to listen to my Dating Women Radio Show EVERY WEDNESDAY at 5:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. ET
Crystal and I just split up and I’m not sure if I should try to reconcile with her or just move on.
We met almost two years ago online and have been dating for about a year and a half. We got off to a rocky start because she had hot and cold feelings towards me – she never said why. But after a while she said her feelings towards me were great. Well, a few months later, she started having a crisis and told me by phone that her feelings were mixed.
I came to her apartment to end things and retrieve my personal belongings when she said that she was just under a lot of stress (she had a heavy load at her job) and that she wanted things to work out. Everything seemed fine for a whole year until during one talk she said she didn’t know what she wanted in life, which culminated in a fight. The next day she apologized and blamed what she said on her recent job change. A few days later she dropped a bomb on me and said that she continues to have mixed feelings, which led to us ending things.
So we met up again to retrieve things and we talked. She revealed that she thought she had mixed feelings for me because I didn’t play hard to get. But she said that she hoped we could work things out but thought I should know.
I called Crystal the next week to catch up and ask her to meet up to give things another shot, and she agreed but she said she’s afraid of hurting me and that she’s afraid her feelings towards me would change again.
Should I stay or should I go?
Leandro - whose head is spinning
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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
You say that you and Crystal just split up. Now let me explain something to you: when couples split up, it means that the Interest Level of one of the two people is below 50%. And 90% of the time, it’s the woman whose interest has plummeted.
Let me explain something else. A woman who has mixed feelings towards you has an Interest Level of 40% to 49%. When you say that she runs hot and cold, it means her interest is below 50%. The reason she’s with you is that there’s nobody else around for her at this time. But the guy thinks that just because she’s with him, she likes him. But her interest is so low that she has to run hot and cold, and it can never rise up over 50%.
And you have to remember this. A wife whose Interest Level is 49% will tell herself that she’s finished with her husband, but she won’t actually leave until her Interest Level is 39%. In the meantime, she’ll get some plastic surgery, save a little money, get herself together, and then she’ll leave. You’re in a very similar situation, in that Crystal is just dating you because she’s waiting for the right moment to split.
But Crystal says that she has a work crisis, which accounts for her hot and cold feelings. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “This is garbage.” To you Psych majors, when a woman has a crisis, it doesn’t lower her Interest Level. Only YOU can do things wrong – that’s when her interest drops. So she’s blaming this job crisis for her weak feelings for you and one has nothing to do with the other. Your real problem is that you’re not a CHALLENGE and you never owned this babe from the start. You never had her Interest Level in the 90s. Crystal happens to be one of those two out of five women who are PROFESSIONAL DATERS. They just go out for the sake of going out. Down deep Crystal doesn’t like you that much, which is why she runs hot and cold.
When a woman says she doesn’t know what she wants in life, that means she has low Interest Level in you. Now I know for sure that you don’t have my materials, because all of this is explained in great detail in “The System.” Again, she blamed everything on her recent job change. Notice how she always talks about everything except for you? Dude, YOU were the one who lowered Crystal’s interest. Job stress didn’t have a thing to do with her Interest Level.
Mixed feelings are the reason Crystal’s interest is between 40% and 49%. It was never even 51% to start with. You were just a male body to Crystal. She doesn’t dig you that much. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “She’s only with you because she can’t be alone.”
However, when she said you didn’t play hard enough to get, she said a mouthful. This is where she finally told you the truth! You’re an open book who wears his heart on his sleeve and Crystal was never GONE-GONE over you.
Every time you’re with Crystal you’re trying to work something out. What a struggle! This thing has never been right from the beginning. It’s always been a hassle. Should you stay or go? GO! And get “The System” ASAP because you know nothing whatsoever about Challenge. And you nothing about the nature of Interest Level and the way it can fluctuate due to your performance in the relationship. Furthermore, you don’t comprehend that when her interest is between 40% and 49%, you’re OUT, but she won’t actually get rid of you until it hits 39% -- and that’s why her feelings run hot and cold.
In other words, you need lots of work, my friend!
Remember, guys: if a woman is inconsistent in her behavior, you’re wasting your time with her.
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