Hey Doc,

My girlfriend Gigi and I have been dating for five months now. Everything up to this point -- everything -- has been perfect. We have definitely been hanging out too much, though – five days a week, at least -- but this has been mutual, with Gigi asking me to hang out four of the five days. When we first started dating, she told me that nursing school, which is where she just started, was going to be a very tough time for us both and she forewarned me that she was going to be very emotional and sometimes very cold.

Well, last week Gigi got her nursing school syllabus and it showed that she needs to do a lot of work. At that point she started to get a little cold towards me. She texted one of my friends and told him that for some reason she was becoming annoyed by me, that even little things I did were driving her insane.

I went to Chicago for four days and Gigi was very cold while I was gone. I backed off and only talked to her if she made the effort first. She did text me every day and I would be very short, but at least I responded. She told my friend that she was enjoying the space, but that she was feeling very annoyed lately due to her job, bills and school. She said she felt awful because she was taking all of this pressure out on our relationship. She also told him that with her school schedule she feels she needs to see me less, maybe only one or two days a week and that she even thinks this will really benefit our relationship.

Doc, is it too late to build Gigi’s interest back up? She is still planning things in advance with me and I think I just may need to back off a little and give her some space. She hasn’t mentioned anything specifically to me about needing space, but only needing to see each other less during school. Am I overreacting? If I back off, will we be okay?

Glen - who doesn’t know how he screwed up

Hi Glen,

I don’t care if the girl asks you to move in with her – YOU JUST DON’T DO IT. If she asks to see you more -- and in the process you slaughter Challenge -- tell her that you have work to do or that you’re studying or that you’re busy. You should be seeing this girl no more than twice a week. To you Psych majors, just because she thinks she wants you around all the time and okays it doesn’t mean it’s right.

And another thing, Glen. We date women, we don’t “hang out” with them.

When Gigi told you that she was going to be distant and cold when she started school, right there you had to back off and let her make all of the dates. But again, only accept two dates out of the seven days of the week, because on account of all this togetherness, Gigi is telling you indirectly that her Interest Level is dropping.

Now let me explain something to you, guy. The fact that Gigi is going to have a tough time with nursing school has nothing whatsoever to do with her Interest Level in you. They are two separate issues. But she’s attempting to use it to tell you -- without coming right out and saying it -- that her interest has taken a dive. When she gets cold towards you, you have to... 

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