WHAT'S THE 411 ON THIS ARTICLE?
YES - ask for the phone number - ALWAYS. You can learn so much about what she really feels by asking: "What's your phone number?"
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I’m a barrister in Australia, 27, and I’ve had your book for two years. I read “The System” daily, always keep it on my bedside table, and I’ve purchased your Mastery Series. I also use tune into your radio show and have seen a tremendous amount of success in my personal relationships as well as in business as a result. I’ve recommended your book to many friends, all of whom have benefited greatly from it (you’d be surprised how many Australian men lack a backbone!)
Anyway, I met Eve through my church three months ago. She’s 26 and works in construction management. I called her six days later and got a date. Our first coffee date went very smoothly, conversation was light and funny, and I could tell that my actions were raising her Interest Level (she has recently told me that she wanted to kiss me on that first date, but I made her wait till our second date!), and we called it a night.
Fast forward three months. We’ve been on nine dates and I’ve seen her interest gradually and steadily rise. Eve is consistent, hardworking, a Flexible Giver, demonstrates Integrity and strong family values -- which I value very highly. We are both committed to our church and do not believe in sex before marriage. She doesn’t text incessantly during the week, and I call her on a Tuesday and take her out on the weekend. I have resisted the urge to text and have tried to remain a Challenge to her, even when we see each other every Sunday at church.
We are approaching 10 dates now. On our next date I will buy a single rose for Eve. My plan is to be patient, follow “The System” and wait for her to ask where the relationship is headed. The concern that I have is that Eve is a rather traditional girl, and my intuition tells me that she’s waiting for me to ask her to be “officially dating” (this is consistent with the Christian perspective on romantic relationships). Naturally I don’t want to do this, and I want to remain a Challenge to her. Should I continue to be patient and wait for her to bring it up?
I have moments of doubt where I interpret her lack of texting during the week as low Interest Level (this is debunked when we are together -- she can’t keep her hands off me!). Should this be interpreted as low interest, or is it simply demonstrative of a classy, secure girl who doesn’t feel the need to text constantly? I get the feeling that Eve is holding back, as she has never gushed about her feelings with me. It feels like a bit of a stalemate -- she’s holding back, the same as I am! A part of this is our Christian background, but my gut tells me that it’s a little more than that. How can I get Eve’s Interest Level up into the 90s so that she starts to give a little more of herself? It seems to me her interest is only in the 80s.
Nic - who owes everything to “The System”
Dating Women Podcast Episode 14
*The weather can be a "blocker" in dating
*Don't let her be "tolerant" of you
*Money can be an issue in relationships
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
First, I want to thank you for the ability to believe in what I say, and to trust me, and as result you’ve seen how my principles carry over into your business life as well. What I teach in “The System” is the result of sales techniques that I’ve learned over the past 40 years while working for many companies. And this is why I have a completely different philosophy from the other love doctors out there, most of whom are psychologists or psychiatrists. They never think in terms of how a sales manager can ride with a guy and make him a better salesman. And that’s why I do with you guys. When I ride with you, you get better and better at my techniques until finally Miss Right comes along and you keep her.
When a girl wants to kiss you and you tell her no, it’s amazing how many points you score – because it drives her crazy. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “No other guy on the face of the planet would turn Eve down for a kiss.” The difference is that you’re a “System” guy and you know how to PLAY IT COOL.
It’s great that Eve doesn’t text you. You’re very, very lucky, Nic. Many women want to break up with you if you don’t want to text. But TEXTING KILLS CHALLENGE. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “If you talk to her every day, you got nothing new on the weekend when you see her.”
You’re rushing the rose, Nic. EVE HAS TO ASK YOU TO BE HER BOYFRIEND FIRST. She’ll ask you if you’re seeing anyone else. You play dumb and say, “Well, not that many,” which makes her laugh. Then she’ll say, “Well, we’ve been going out for a while and I want to know if you’ll just see me and stop seeing everyone else.” Then you tell her that you’ll have to think about it for a week. After waiting a week, you give her the rose. The key to a relationship with ANY WOMAN IS GOING IN SLOWLY.
Eve might well be waiting for you to make a move. Let her wait. You’re going to out-wait her. Yes, you’re going to continue to be patient and let her bring up the subject of being your girlfriend before you do anything.
So you’re insecure about Eve not texting you. You’re looking in the wrong spot, dude. You’ve got a good girl here. Again, you’re lucky she doesn’t want to text. And again, texting slays Challenge. Once incessant texting starts, it’s impossible to stop it. That’s why you don’t want someone who’s addicted to texting. The only thing that counts is that she can’t keep her hands off you – but remember, don’t touch her back. Your goal is to FRUSTRATE her, Nic. Make her want you more by not giving her what she wants, whether a return kiss or a return touch.
No question about it: Eve is a classy, secure girl who doesn’t feel the need to text constantly. But she’s not holding back. She likes you. Hey, she can’t keep her hands off you! She makes every date, you have a great time, and she shows no Red Flags, like showing up late or talking about exes. This girl is perfect. She just happens to be traditional and she’s taking it slow – which is great. You have to take it slow too. And it’s nice being out with someone who hasn’t dated the entire soccer team!
There’s no stalemate here. How is Eve holding back? She can’t keep her hands off you, remember? You’re searching for a problem where there isn’t one. Pal, her interest is already in the 90s.
Remember, guys: if she can’t keep her hands off you, you have nothing to worry about.
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