Dating Women Advice: Was Kevin Love Ever A Fallback Guy?

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Can I actually fit all of his mistakes into one article?  Let's see...he had group dates with her, misread her signals and managed to get so drunk he had to stay at her house because he was in no condition to drive - TWICE.  If you want a way to NOT have a girlfriend follow his blueprint.

Read on...


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Hey Doc,

I have a question about mixed signals. A month ago I got Bree’s number at a bar when we were drinking with mutual friends. I called her the next week for lunch so I could feel her interest out. The date went well, though she seemed nervous when I picked her up. That weekend I called her to make dinner plans for Sunday. On Friday we got together with our mutual friends at the bar. I was standing next to Bree when one of our friends came up to talk to her about planning another friend’s birthday party on Sunday. Afterwards she told me she forgot about the birthday party so she couldn’t do dinner with me. She invited me to the party and I accepted and ended up going.

At the party I had too much to drink and couldn’t drive so I stayed at Bree’s place. We ended up sleeping on the couch together. She seemed obviously interested in me and was cuddling with me so I decided to go for a kiss just to see what would happen. I got no response so I didn’t push anything.

The next week I called Bree again to make plans for dinner on Friday or Sunday. She said that she couldn’t do Sunday because she was going to a concert, but Friday might be open depending on when she got together with her uncle to move furniture. She told me she would call on Friday to tell me what was up. Friday came and she didn’t call. I decided to call her early that evening to see what was up. I didn’t want to waste my Friday waiting for Bree when I could go out with my buddies. Bree said dinner was not going to work because she was meeting with her uncle but she would call me when she was through with him. I mentioned that I had several tickets to a comedy club. She ended up calling me later that night and we went to the club and a couple of bars with some of her friends. Again I slept at her house because I had too much to drink. Nothing happened and I got no signs of interest from her.

Doc, what’s up? I feel like either Bree blew me off and is not interested or there’s someone else and I’m the fallback guy. I’m considering dumping her. What am I doing wrong? And should I just let this girl go because she seems to be a little flaky?

Bryce - who thought he had her in the bag

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Hi Bryce,

The first thing you should have done was wondered why Bree felt nervous. Was it because she had low Interest Level and didn’t want to be with you? Or was it because she had such high Interest Level that she was a nervous wreck because she wanted to do everything right when she was with you? You have to be a Love Cop and figure these things out, otherwise you’re just guessing and you’ll end up flailing in the dark. And this is why you have to memorize “The System.”

Why did you get together with Bree and your mutual friends at the bar? This was a MAJOR MISTAKE. Once you had the date with Bree for Sunday, you should have stayed away from your mutual friends and that bar. You should have kept out of that scene altogether until this girl was your solid girlfriend or one of you dumped the other.

You were lucky that Bree invited you to the birthday party, but the problem was that at the party you were back with your drinking buddies and mutual friends again. You have to stay away from these people when you’re dating Bree, so you should have declined the invitation to the party, Bryce.

But you went, got smashed and ended up on Bree’s couch. Great! So now she knows that you’re a drunk. Do you realize the image you’re projecting to this girl? Then, when you went for the kiss, you got no response from her. To you Psych majors, NO RESPONSE MEANS ZERO INTEREST LEVEL. And you shouldn’t have been cuddling with her on the couch. That comes later, when she’s already your girlfriend.

Now let me get this straight. For Bree, moving furniture with her uncle is more important than spending time with the guy who is her potential boyfriend? What does that tell you? Then she said she might call you at the last minute to let you know whether she could get together. And you jumped on this “definite maybe” date – in other words, you thought you had a date, but you didn’t. In fact, you had nothing. I can see that you’re not at all familiar with “The System,” Bryce, because if you were, you would have withdrawn your offer of a date as soon as you found out that Bree would rather move furniture than be with you. You should have told her, “We’ll get together some other time then,” and then hung up.

But you called her again anyway and added another problem to the problem you already had – YOU CAME ON HUNGRY, which destroys Challenge. But she told you she would contact you when she was through with her uncle. When was that going to be, at four in the morning? Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “You’re like chopped liver here.” In other words, Bree can take you or leave you. That’s why you should have withdrawn your offer and that’s why you definitely need my book. You’re all over Bree like white on rice and she doesn’t respect you.

But instead of backing off and preserving your dignity, you dragged her to the comedy club with a bunch of her friends. And you stayed over again, drunk. Instead of dating Bree, you should join AA, my friend! Twice you spent the night with Bree, and both times you acted like an alcoholic. You got no signs of interest from her because she doesn’t dig you -- simple as that.

What’s up? Bree doesn’t go for alcoholics! You’re not the fallback guy – Bree just has no interest in you. Don’t blame some other guy who doesn’t exist for this mess, Bryce. Put the blame where it belongs -- on yourself. You had a shot with this babe, but you ended up on her couch, slaughtering Challenge, because you drink too much booze. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “You have to give up Jack Daniels – you got a problem with that guy.”

There’s no one to dump, Bryce, because you never owned Bree in the first place. What are you doing wrong? Pretty much everything. But the biggest blunder you’re making is that YOU’RE TRYING TO GO IT ALONE WITHOUT “THE SYSTEM.” That’s why you’re screwing up. You are absolutely clueless when it comes to hustling women. And Bree’s not flakey. What you’re calling flakey is really low Interest Level.

Remember, guys: if you drink too much on two dates in a row, she’ll never want to see you again.

dating women


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