Hey Doc,

I discovered you many years ago. Though I didn’t buy “The System,” the advice in your columns struck me as genius! Recently I spent a lot of time hunting for you, the original Doc Love, on the internet, but there are way too many impersonators! I know now that I need “The System.” I’m so happy you are not retired and are still helping men and available to share your wisdom!

Anyway, after not buying your book, I married a very beautiful, high maintenance, woman (a part-time model) with two children of her own. Ashlee and I also had a son together. I have always remained 100% faithful, while my flirtatious and exhibitionist wife (see-through tops, no underwear under her skirts, etc.) has caused me nothing but grief over the past 14 years. She requires non-stop attention from all men, aged 19 to 93. A couple of years ago she started drinking every night. I caught her being intimate with a woman (her gay friend) in the backyard one morning as I was leaving for work. Needless to say this was the nail in the coffin for our marriage, but I thought we might be able to work through it.

But I was repulsed to touch her physically after that, so we did counseling, and the counselor suggested she had “histrionic personality disorder.” Within a couple of months I discovered my wife had been having a “sexting” relationship with my son’s sixth grade male school teacher that had been going on for over two years! She also admitted to having an intimate encounter at his home. Two weeks later I discovered she was again having a “sexting” relationship with yet another man. She is now in a rehab/counseling program, but she has lied to me again and again. Even after I caught her and she said it was over, I discovered that she had been sending graphic videos of herself to this man.

From what I’ve heard about “The System,” I realize I have made SO many mistakes with this woman. I was a Wimp, did everything she ever asked, worshipped her, complimented her nonstop, and worked seven days a week and overtime to provide her with enough money, only to be told that “I was never home” and that’s why she turned to other men. I should’ve had your book back in 2001. My reputation in her family is I am such a “good guy.” Now I know the truth: good guys finish last.

Now my wife believes we will remain together somehow, once she becomes “well.” I believe she is only concerned about my large retirement income, my inherited house, etc. My trust in her is COMPLETELY gone. I am just playing along for now, to appease her family and show my support, but my goal is to divorce her. I’m hoping her family will encourage her to go easy on me, the abused victim.

Hopefully, with her family’s support and sympathy I might escape with only a couple of years of alimony.

My question is this: do you agree that this woman is toxic to my survival and since I can’t trust her that our relationship is beyond repair? Any advice for handling my wife during the pre-divorce stage?

Arturo - who no longer wants to be Mister Nice Guy