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He wants to commit suicide over her. Guy, guy, guy - NEVER LET IT GET TO THAT POINT FOR ANY RELATIONSHIP!
Check out my advice to him and hit me up on the radio every Wednesday - The Dating Women Radio Show is LIVE for you weekly at 5:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. ET and I'll take your calls!
My, do I have a problem! Meredith and I have been going out for almost four years. But recently there’s been trouble. We are doing less and less together. She’s been spending more and more time with a younger guy. I’ve been going through a lot of stress with my job and my father is very ill. To ice the cake, this new guy has been trying to weasel his way in.
Meredith has asked me if I would accept an open relationship where she had several boyfriends. I told her that I didn’t like the idea, and she got a bit angry with me, saying she only wanted to experiment. She and the new guy have been hanging out more and more. Then I went through some of her belongings and found a plethora of letters from the other guy. They went into detail about how much he loved her and wanted to be with her, as well as various romantic acts they had performed together. In one of the letters, in which the other guy complained about feeling like a third wheel, Meredith wrote to him, “You shouldn’t feel like the third wheel, love. If anything, Rafael is the third wheel because I’ve cut him off from everything except for talking, and I’m slowly stopping even that. But don’t worry, I’ve got him under control.”
Doc, this angered me to no end, so I confronted Meredith and things got even worse. She left me for a week after confessing that she and the other guy had been together for a month, and all of that stuff in the letters did happen, and that she needed time to herself. Little did I know that time to herself included the other guy!
After the breakup I attempted to “off” myself numerous times. Meredith then proceeded to beg me for three days to take her back. She explained that she was tired of me being angry and arguing with her and for being depressed, and that she was sorry that she fell for the other guy. After a week, I took her back. But to this day, she has long periods of silence and absences that she can’t explain. She says that she’s spending time with her parents, but I don’t really believe her even though I want to. After a month I feel that I still can’t trust her. She still insists that she’s sorry and she loves me every day. I don’t know what to do, and I’m in dire need of coaching.
Rafael - who’s at the end of his rope
I'LL GIVE YOU 2 MONTHS TO CHECK OUT THE SYSTEM - NO QUESTIONS ASKED!
Something tells me you won't though - only my dating course answers the question of why she chooses to stay with one man versus another - don't wait another minute!
First of all, let me correct you on something. The new guy isn’t “trying to weasel his way in,” he’s already in! Dude, you have a girlfriend of four long years who’s going out with another guy. Which means that you haven’t been going by “The System,” you’ve been taking Meredith for granted, you’re boring, and that’s why she’s fooling around with somebody else. And she’s doing it because her Interest Level is in the pits. And you deserve what’s happened because you don’t have my book and therefore haven’t been implementing the MAINTENANCE PROGRAM, which is outlined in those pages.
When Meredith asked you for an open relationship and several boyfriends, right there you should have known that you had someone who wasn’t into monogamy. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “When a girl isn’t into monogamy, she’s not good enough for you.”
And when you found out that Meredith and this other guy had performed all kinds of romantic acts, you should have dropped her immediately. This babe is not loyal. On the other hand, if she had high Interest Level in you, it would have bettered your odds of keeping her and having a great relationship.
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Then she told the other guy not to worry for a minute about you. So Meredith is working two guys. She’s got an old guy – you – and a new guy, and she’s having a hell of a blast working both of you! But LOYALTY is the number one quality that a woman has to have in a relationship, and Meredith most definitely does NOT have it. In fact she gets a big, fat “F” in the subject!
Now she needs time to herself -- which includes the other guy. What you don’t realize is that you wasted four whole years on a girl who you didn’t even know. Rafael, this girl is into groups. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You don’t want to go out with a girl who likes the soccer team!”
It’s absolutely ridiculous to want to kill yourself over a girl, buddy. Are you serious about this? Boy oh boy, you’d better get my book ASAP! You’ve got so much to learn!
Meredith’s not sorry she fell for the other guy. In fact, she’s not sorry for anything! I mean, you don’t really believe that, do you? To you Psych majors, it’s amazing how a woman can work the male’s ego. She says everything he wants to hear and works him like a Stradivarius. She says all the right things, and everything is hunky-dory and all is forgiven. Right!
And you took her back, Rafael -- like 90% of the guys would take her back. But here’s the most important question: why would you even want to take back someone who’s running around with a younger guy, who doesn’t respect you, and who has low Interest Level in you?
Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “When a girl can’t explain her absences, she should be seeing a psychiatrist.” The coaching you need is this: GET MY BOOK AND MEMORIZE IT. Then tell Meredith to forget your name and your phone number.
Remember, guys: if she messes with another guy, you’re out.
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