Get An Ex Girlfriend Back? 3 Reasons It’s a BAD Idea


All over the internet – all day long – I keep seeing all these products that show you a multitude of ways to get an ex girlfriend back and I’m here to tell you that you’re wasting your money and time.

If you’re ready to move past the false hope and stop living in a time that’s never coming back then read on. If you want to ensure you get half the relationship you deserve with the old girl versus the great relationship you could get with a new lady in your life then stop reading.

Your choice.

Get An Ex Girlfriend Back#1: There Was A Reason You Broke Up

Person A loves person B and vice versa – they always have a great time together and people comment all the time as to how in love they are.

Then why did person A just flush person B down the tubes?

It can’t happen if what I said in the first sentence was true – if two people are in love and having a great time then one can’t blow off the other (unless one of them has something really wrong in their thought processes).

In the game of love there is but one parachute on the plane – and in a crash one is going to survive and one is going down. It’s the one that loses their feelings first and gets out that floats to the earth ready to get on another flight (probably even have their ticket already) while the other experiences the emotional equivalent of careening into the mountain.

People don’t just simultaneously lose their feelings for each other – usually one person’s interest is dipping down until it’s time to move on – and in the relationship education course I teach called THE SYSTEM, 90% of the time it’s a guy that got her to fall in love but couldn’t keep her in love.

Point is – someone is really hurting because they got blindsided while the other has enough reasons in their head to be the one that wanted out and their emotion is one of relief to be gone.

Get An Ex Girlfriend Back#2: How Are You Going To Find Someone New?

She’s out and around – dating Tom, laughing with Dick and having fun with Harry – and you’re in front of the computer with your friend Jack Daniels thinking that your life is over . Do I paint a pretty accurate picture?

If your mind is bent on getting her back then all you’re doing is living in the past and trying to get to a time that will never be again.

In my course the female INTEREST LEVEL is most important – think of it as a degree of love – in the 90’s she’s madly in love and you can do no wrong in her eyes – when it gets to 49 or lower then she’s got a date with Harry and you’re waking up with a splitting hangover thanks to your buddy Jack.

You think if she was once in love then you can get her there again – and you’d be wrong. She might forgive and forget all the mistakes that caused her to leave on an intellectual level but her INTEREST LEVEL will never rise above 49 again – she cannot at a base emotional level ever feel the way she felt again – it’s just not possible!

Get An Ex Girlfriend Back#3: “But But But I Know Of Couples That Got Back Together”

Yes, yes, yes – there are PLENTY of examples of this happening – I can wander around for the next month interviewing couples and I bet I can find plenty of examples that go something like this for our hero and heroine Tom and Caprice.

*Tom and Caprice are in love.

*Caprice slowly falls out of love until one night she blindsides Tom with the “I need my space”/”We might need to take a break”/”I don’t feel the same about you anymore”/”You’ll always be special to me”/”etc.” speech.

*Lots of tears are involved.

*Surprisingly Tom’s friends say they spotted Caprice two days later with another man! Shocking!

*Tom spends the next months pathetically leaving messages and staying in touch so she knows he’s available – after all she’s his one true love, right? Love conquers all! (ugh).

*Caprice surprisingly doesn’t care because she’s got HIGH INTEREST LEVEL in the new guy and Tom’s messages are just irritants she has to endure.

*Caprice then gets flushed by new guy (or a series of new guys) and is feeling hurt, rejected and doesn’t like to be alone.

*She goes back to old reliable (Tom) whose been staying home just waiting for her call – he’s now allowed to come back off the bench and go into the starting lineup!

*Cue the cheesy music – let the credits roll – she came back! They will live happily ever after….except….

*Caprice still has the feelings that caused her to leave imprinted on her brain – but she’s back because she couldn’t do any better. She’ll spend the next couple decades subtly (or not so subtly) telling Tom why he doesn’t really measure up and Tom will utter the phrase “What’s the matter honey” multiple times as she stares out the window dreaming about the stud that got away.

If they leave it was because their INTEREST LEVEL plummeted – so if you can put up with half a relationship when she’s back just because you can’t be without her then prepare for a nasty ride. Personally I think it’s better to be alone than it is to be with a girl that’s half interested in you.

If you want more dating advice that will coach you to not do the things that cause her INTEREST LEVEL to take a nosedive in the first place, then take an INSTANT 7-day FREE trial to my HYPER-POPULAR Doc Love Club.  When you take that 7-day FREE Trial you’ll have access to over 90 hours of audio and more articles like this but for members only!  As a special BONUS I’ll give you 8 FREE CHAPTERS to my SYSTEM AUDIO BOOK as a thanks for test driving The Doc Love Club.

What do YOU think?  Don’t be shy – talk to me below.

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Leave a Reply 14 comments

Marc - 19 March 2015 Reply

What an amazig article Doc. I whish I knew that long, long time ago. Before wasting TONS of time trying to get my Ex back. All I got was rejection and disrespect from her, sometimes masked with love words in the middle, but in the end I knew she couldn’t find ANYONE better, then she came back to me so she could feed her ego knowing that I would always be ther for her etc…
Gold rule is to move on, she had her chance.

    DocLove - 21 March 2015 Reply

    Marc – you summed it up perfectly – thanks for weighing in.

Jeremy - 9 June 2015 Reply

Doc love I’ve been a student of yours since I was 15 (I’m 29 now) and it’s helped me tremendously. Prior to finding your material I used challenge on girls as a teenager without even knowing I was doing it. So I wanted to thank you. But my question is about an ex. I know you say never go back to an ex but just hear me out. I was seeing a women for 8 months she’s 36 and I’m 29. She had high interest level in the 90’s. . She gave me a key to her place would pay for dates and was extremely affecianote with me all time. Anyway i broke up with her really for no reason about 2 months ago and now I want her back . She was a great girlfriend and breaking up with her was dumb but can I fix this since she didn’t dump me and since her interest level was in the 90’s when I broke up with her? Thanks Doc and keep up the good work.

    DocLove - 10 June 2015 Reply

    This is a good question for the show – I’m on every Wednesday – please get the #’s here: – and thanks for your kind words – wow, 14 years is a long time to be with THE SYSTEM – good for you!

Ibrahim - 26 June 2015 Reply

Does money has anything to do with raising an Ex intrest level from 49 back to 51 again?i do not mean she comes back only for the money,i mean she comes back becuase her interest level is back up(because of the money).

    DocLove - 27 June 2015 Reply

    Only if she’s a MERCENARY but her INTEREST LEVEL is not in you but in the pile of cash – forget a woman that does this!

Jaret - 6 January 2016 Reply

I had a drinking problem and cops got involved, jail restraining order. She says if I go to alcohol rehab for 90 days she will get back together. She says she wants to distance herself until I get help. I’ve been on the rehab waiting list and haven’t seen her or my one year old son for two months already. We had issues to begin with. I felt like her interest level was low already? She ignores my mother who got angry with her for not being invited to my sons first birthday. Now she completely ignores her and my sister. Should I hope to get back together? Or just move on. I plan on getting your book for knowledge. I would appreciate your advice.
Thank you – Jaret

    DocLove - 7 January 2016 Reply


    I believe you definitely need my book and also you have so much going on that I prefer to talk to you privately via phone coaching here so please set it up. But for sure get the book because if you internalize it you will make positive changes.

    I will tell you this – this could be a situation where it is worth it to try to get your ex back because in very rare cases they have HIGH INTEREST LEVEL but leave due to external factors that they can’t be around – like your drinking. From the little I read it seems this may be the case. You definitely should try because nothing is more important than raising your child in a loving home. Please get my book and order phone coaching.

    Thanks for writing


Jean - 1 September 2016 Reply

Hi Doc! I’m Doc Love Club member from south america. I only found your work after a breakup. I have a question for you, here is my story: I was dating a girl for about a year when she received a scholarship to study in Europe for a 6 month period. I went and visited her 2 times, by her request. The second time I went there we had a huge fight, she was very rude and disrespectful to me, so I packed my bags and left, and I never looked back.

Two months after she returned from her trip, she contacted me to day she was sorry. She is organized, very inteligent, self reliant, flexible, but she sometimes has a very bad temper. She is aware of that. And I’ve always been the nice guy and never a challenge. I was always available and made many mistakes that I would continue doing if I’ve never had found The System. Anyway, we started going out again. But after 4 months she began to act very flaky, and even though she said she loved me, I was getting mixed signals. So I decided to leave her. I had no knowledge about interest level at that time. But by intuition I knew my interest level was higher then hers at the time.

Since I left she’s been contacting me every month. I never text or call her, but out of nowhere she texts me saying how our relationship was magical, and things like that. She asks for dates, we go out, but after a few days she gets cold. I go no contact, a few weeks goes by and she contacts me again, we make a date, she goes cold again, and this have been going on for 7 months now. I don’t give her nothing, I never beg, I never contact her, I’m able to control my feelings even though my interest level is very high. I just wait for her to contact me and I make a date.

Two weeks ago we made a date. One day before the date she asked me to sleep at her house and I said no. The next day, she broke the date (by her tone she was angry). I read her text saying she was going to break the date and I didn’t even reply to it, I just went silent mode again.

I found about your work just two months ago. But I’m a dedicated student, I’ve read your book 7 times, made notes, I listen to the audios every day, I’ve been dating other girls, and now I’m a Doc Love Club member.

My question is about interest level. She never broke the relationship (at least not with words) but I’m shure that when I left her the first time and second time, my interest level was super high, and hers was low. But I need your help on this one. How low was her interest level, would you say below 49% (I’m out) or 51% (I still have a chance)? I’m I being a cold dick to her, or she just gets bored and from time to time contact me to rub my ego? I need you to set me straight on this one.

Please help me out doc!

Thanks so much, your work is a blessing to men and women!

Andy Mann - 28 January 2017 Reply

Doc, I’ve always liked your advice, not just the soundness of it but the way it’s presented. For the last 10 years I’ve been the dumper in every interaction with a female, which has given me much more confidence in finding the right one.

So I’m hoping you’ll answer this.

What if I am the one who dumped my girlfriend because I got cold feet mixed in with some jealousy? My ego got in the way. I dumped her pretty harshly, stating I did not like her aloof attitude to communication which resulted in some serious misunderstandings. She said she was trying to change and that she is disappointed of my true colors and will not be contacting me again. I just replied, “take care then”, and have not contacted her. It’s been a week.

Why do I want this one back? She is the first one I have had feelings for, which explains why I lost control of my ego. See, I have become extremely picky over the years. It’s made me callous, stubborn, and have low tolerance for things, and I’m quick to dump them.

Part of me is feeling free. Though I do feel stupid for acting like a jerk. But I can’t help but know I unnecessarily dumped her.

Just before I dumped her, I admitted I had been jealous of something that had put a rift between us. She thanked me for being the first man to have the strength to admit I was wrong, and she asked for a chance to rebuild. Few days later I did not hear from her because I think she was upset I had fallen asleep and missed her call the night before. So I dumped her for the same thing and said I was fed up with the disrespect and don’t see any way of coming out of the rabbit hole.

So should I let this one go and let her move on in peace, or make a fool of myself and reach out with the hope of making it up to her and give her the chance to feel like the dumper?

I do admit I can have a bad ego problem when I feel vulnerable and get feelings for someone. That’s what happened here. She got through my hard shell. Without feelings for them, I’m confident. I haven’t mastered controlling my ego when my interest goes up. I don’t get wimpy, I just get cold and angry and just run, which I suppose is still weakenss. I’m not sure how she interprets what I did. Jerk or insecure?

What do you think Doc?

    DocLove - 28 January 2017 Reply

    You give some general statements here – but I’d really need to know specifics – like what were you jealous over? What communication issues in specific drove you to dump her? This cannot be handled via comments – I really need to talk to you and go back and forth with you.

    I suggest you either call the radio show at or via phone coaching because you and I will need to go back and forth a bit – thanks again for writing and thanks for your kind words about THE SYSTEM

Eweet Elimlim - 20 August 2017 Reply

how are you doing doc?

    DocLove - 22 August 2017 Reply

    great – thank you – how are you?

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