The first date is the most nerve-wracking time for a dude. We like to play like were so macho but when you meet her, can’t stop thinking about her and then actually get to go out with her? Yeah, you’re not such a manly man anymore – you feel like it’s the first day of high school and the bell rang without you having a clue as to where your first class is located.
I’ve got 3 great questions for you to ask on a first date below but I also wanted you to realize that in the dating relationship education course I teach called THE SYSTEM you don’t have to get everything accomplished on date 1 because this is a marathon, not a sprint – just relax and have fun with her.
Before you start reading below REMEMBER NOT TO MAKE THIS LIKE AN INTERVIEW – you might only get to one or two of the questions below and that’s okay. They’re designed to start conversation so if you end up going off on tangents then go with them – again, you just want to relax and have fun. Make sure also to really LISTEN to her answers because if you rapid fire through questions without showing comprehension then she is going to get turned off.
Oh, and always keep things light, keep them funny, never give her put downs and stay away from heavy subjects. Okay, are you ready for some conversation starters?
In the process of getting the number you probably learned a few things about her – such as she’s a high powered attorney or loves the kittens at the animal shelter she volunteers at, swims 5 days a week – whatever it is she’s passionate about something so the best way to start the conversation in a positive way is to ask her about things she loves.
Don’t be afraid to throw in your own examples of things you love but always tilt the conversation back to her – we want her talking on the date 80% of the time because women love to talk about things they’re into and the less you talk the better – too many guys oversell themselves when they should just lay back and be a mystery – because women love mystery in a guy – they love finding out about you slowly. You’ll find that’s a common theme in my giving you questions to ask – they are all to spark conversation from mostly her.
Again, you’re getting her to talk about herself and also you’re gathering future date ideas. Win- win! Make sure to say the handsome gentleman part with a nod or a wink so she knows you’re not pulling some kind of ego move on her. As I said when I opened this article you want to keep it light, keep it funny, with no put downs or heavy subjects.
Also, a bonus to this question is that you might find out she’s, for example, super into playing volleyball and you play beach volleyball all summer – now you have a point of commonality you didn’t have before. The more she talks about what’s fun to her the better – because it’s keeping the date on a positive spin and you never know what things will pop out that will show how similar you two are.
I’m never afraid to be playful on a date and admit I have a goofy “get to know you” first date question – it disarms her because she knows I’m a confident enough guy that I have zero problem admitting that were in the awkward phase of getting to know each other – I mean there’s nothing more awkward than a first date.
My favorite way to say this is: “Ready for a goofy first date ‘get to know you’ question?” If she’s playful and having fun (I wouldn’t do this question right off the bat by the way – you need a little rapport first) then she’ll smile and be open to it. You continue on with something like “Let’s say our bartender is a secret millionaire and he won the lottery last night but has decided to give the next person that tips him more than 15% all the winnings – you’re that lucky person – what do you do with millions?”
Her answer should be fun and it will spark further conversation (and if it doesn’t then you have a non-playful woman on your hands so it’s good you found out now!)
Think about what your answer would be as well – because it’s likely she is going to reverse this question back on you (and also, the first 2 questions as well – always be prepared with what YOU’D answer).
Don’t be afraid to be a little playful with your initial answer – don’t default to what you’d think she’d want to hear like “I’d feed the homeless for a year.” You might intend to do that but you’re not trying to win a beauty pageant so don’t give that type of answer because you’ll come off stiff and not fun. I might say something like “After I buy my island, fleet of 14 cars and re-invest the rest of the money in that stock tip from the guy that recently friended me on Facebook gave me, I oughta be ready for – well, another lottery ticket to try to get out of the hole I dug with the first batch of winnings!”
She should at least chuckle at your scenario that shows you ending up broke because of a bad string of investments and then you can hit her with what you’d REALLY do with the money. The idea is to never take yourself or the date too seriously – the first date is the opening bell of a 15 round match so just have fun and make her laugh enough so she wants date 2 with you.
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