Ah, the first date – the most nerve racking palm sweaty time you can have outside of getting ready to compete in a championship game – or at least that’s how it feels. Why is it like this? Because it’s not natural. You take two complete strangers that have some semblance of interest in each other and you hope that by the end of the 2-3 hours that the interest has risen on both sides – but there is no real way to be sure since, again, you’re strangers.
On the dating women radio show that I host weekly, I have guys call in from all over the world and a lot of times they’re looking for first date advice. Below are 3 great first date tips for guys based on my radio show andteachings.
My co-host Jeff is a poker player and there’s a old concept in tournament play that states that you can lose early but it’s impossible to win. Basically each player is given a certain amount of chips and you have to get all the chips to win. Early on there is no way you can get every chip in the field but you can give yours away to the other players.
Bring that concept to dating – you are not going to develop a relationship with her on date 1, date 5 or even date 8. In my relationship and dating education course called THE SYSTEM I teach guys that they have to SLOW DOWN because it will take at least 10 dates before you build up enough chips with her to consider the long haul with you – so relax and just enjoy yourself.
Dovetailing on what I said above, you don’t have to prove yourself all in the first 2-3 hours you’re with her so RELAX and HAVE FUN. Yes, HAVE FUN. I teach guys to keep it light, keep it funny, and don’t give her any heavy subjects or put downs. It’s amazing how many guys will go to a first date and act like she’s clergy or his shrink. They put all their problems on the table thinking they’ll make a deeper connection with her but all she is thinking at the end of the date is how bummed she is after listening to your string of sob stories.
We all have pain from our past – but if you’re going to raise her INTEREST LEVEL in you then it’s not your job to expose your pain to her – your job is to make her laugh and forget her pain for awhile so that she wants to see you again. Dating is supposed to be fun so concentrate on that!
Notice I didn’t say control her – that’s not what were here for. My principles can be boiled down to this – good men showing good women a good time that makes both want to spend the rest of their lives together wishing each other well and supporting one another.
It all starts on date 1 – your campaign to show her that you are different from the other guys she’s gotten rid of. You can’t just wing this – make sure you know and do all of the following:
*Where you’re going – know how busy it is, noise level, where to park, fun stuff to do there, the specials, etc. She should feel as if you’ve been to the place you’re at 100x before.
*Where she lives – always make sure to pick her up 5 minutes early – getting lost beforehand will make this impossible so scout out where you’re going before picking her up.
*What you’ll do – don’t take her to a movie or loud concert – you have to be able to TALK and get to know her.
*What you won’t do – and that’s over-compliment – MOST EVERY guy tries to score points by complimenting – be different & tell her she looks nice when picking her up and that you had a nice time when dropping her off.
*How long you’ll do it – remember she’s a complete stranger and you don’t have any rapport built up – and that takes time. Remember what I said in tip #1 about losing early on? The quickest way to lose is to not have her anticipating the next date with you. It’s better to leave in 2-3 hours at the height of fun leaving her wanting more rather than wearing out your welcome for 5-6 hours and having her think – “I can’t do that again!”
Dating is like sales guys – great and successful salespeople control every detail of the process – from the initial call to the time when they close the contract – they leave nothing to chance and neither should you. You’re not selling a product – you’re selling YOU so make sure that YOU ARE PREPARED.
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