I’m not knocking the female gender but when it comes to giving dating advice many of them fall short of the mark because a lot of times women themselves don’t even know how they operate within dating/relationships.
You hear many female relationship coaches tell you that you shouldn’t give up if you want her, give her more flowers or gifts in general, be sensitive, give her lots of attention and compliments etc., etc. – I know you’ve heard the BRAINWASHING that gets you beat up in the real world of dating over and over again. You see what they miss is the fact that it’s the FEMALE INTEREST LEVEL that counts – I’m the only one in the world with that concept.
INTEREST LEVEL is a degree of love – 49% or lower and you’re out – 51% or higher and you have a chance – all the way up to 100% which is true she’ll sell all her possessions to move out of the country with you.
Many of the things they speak of – gifts, sensitivity, being there for her are fine after you have TIME in with her and that her INTEREST LEVEL is in the 80’s and soaring. Many guys try to give up the farm on the first couple dates overwhelming her with gifts, attention, compliments and it’s too much too soon.
The dating advice you receive is from men – specifically thousands of them that have written YOU CHANGED MY LIFE LETTERS and have helped me mold my dating course called THE SYSTEM (of course I’ve interviewed over 10,000 women as well – I truly teach men what I learned from women and then as guys go out and put my principles into practice THE SYSTEM grows and has been for over 30 years now).
I really come at this from a guy’s point of view and give you REAL TALK that won’t get you crushed on the street. Of course there are women giving good advice just as there are men giving bad advice – one of the frequent targets of sub-standard dating advice for men is from Men’s Health – you’d think they’d be helping guys but I frequently feature their stuff on my dating women radio show. However, there is no other relationship coach I know of that puts it all together like me – so enjoy the 3 pieces of advice below – they will really help you out there against the dating realities you’re up against.
#1: Stop Over-Complimenting
She has known since a young age that her looks are appealing to the opposite sex and it’s BORING to her to hear how beautiful she is over and over again. She gets it. Don’t do it.
You might change tactics and say “Okay Doc, I’ll compliment her on her mind.” That won’t work either. Let’s say that you’re out with her on the first date and are telling her how smart she is, how engaging she is, or some other tactic designed to say something nice about her besides her looks. She’ll sniff you out as a PHONY quickly. Why? Because she knows she’s a complete stranger to her so how are you supposed to know anything about her intellect and personality in the first couple of hours? You can’t and she knows it.
The better approach is to tell her she looks nice when you pick her up (even if she doesn’t) and tell her you had a fun time (even if you didn’t) when you drop her off.
Let’s put it another way – if over-complimenting really worked why don’t you see guys just wandering around throwing down compliments every 5 minutes to women they’re interested in? The more the better, right? It just doesn’t work guys, forget it.
Of course you want to be respectful and make sure she has a fun time but just because you’re super-attracted to her doesn’t mean that she’s the girl of your dreams. I know in our Snap Chat/tweeting/here’s what I had for breakfast status update world that it’s easy to think that everything should be instant – but that will never include dating and relationships.
I love technology but it has given us a false sense that everything is fast and whirlwind – it’s not. You have to really get to know her. I have guys call my dating women radio show and they’ll tell me how much integrity the new girl in their life has – or how fun she is – or how intelligent she is. I then ask how many times they’ve been out with her and in many cases it’s less than 5 dates!
I teach in THE SYSTEM (which you can think of as a relationship dating education course) that you need at least 10 dates with NO RED FLAGS to start considering whether or not she can be your girlfriend or not – if you are less than 2 months/10 dates in you know NOTHING about her.
Your job in the first 10 dates is to understand she’s a stranger that you’re getting to know SLOWLY – and to never overrate anything you *think* she’s doing or how she is. You really don’t know.
#3: Girls Just Want To Have Fun
You might have to use that Google thing for this as this song was from the 80’s but Cyndi Lauper sang a perfect song (Girls Just Want To Have Fun) to sum up how you should approach dating women – remember they just want to have fun!
They don’t care about:
*Your nasty divorce
*The hamster that ran away when you were 7
*Hearing about your toys
*How you get angry sometimes
*Your opinion of the next Presidential Election
*How you plan to rise up the corporate ladder
Keep this phrase in mind: “Keep it light, keep it funny, no heavy subjects, no put downs.”
You are on a date – make sure to make her laugh and make her want another date. It’s pretty tough to make her your girlfriend if you can’t make it from date 5 to 6, right? The object of all of this is to keep her wanting more because if she’s having a tremendous time with you and keeps wishing that the dates would be longer and more frequent with you then she’s not going to pull out the dreaded “let’s be friends” speech.